It's a slow summer and my heart goes out to the Gozo minister, with the whole country taking the mickey out of him for attending to his ceremonial duties and lending the full cachet of government pomp to the opening of... A public toilet. 

But we live in exciting times and, if the minister would rather spend his summer following less.. err... crappy pursuits (sorry, Ed) I will oblige with some ideas.

Mr Minister, here are 4 more wholesome activities you could be using your time on:

1. Directing the queue to the ferry back to Malta. Seriously, since the new terminal opened everyone has morphed into a flock of particularly dimwitted sheep, including myself.

2. Using your clout to place a couple of Pokemon in strategic locations. Top of the Azure Window, anyone? On second thoughts, maybe not.

3. Lending a helping hand at the Xlendi ice-cream shop. I mean, that ice-cream seriously rocks. I don't see why we should have to queue even two seconds longer than we need to. An extra pair of ministerial hands will undoubtedly make the whole process flow faster.

4. Do something about the atrocious lack of restaurants open in Gozo on an off-season week day. Seriously, are we supposed to starve just because it's gone 10pm and patrons are thin on the ground?

Or else, let's see, how about scrapping this list and actually using the portfolio to do something useful? Oh, I don't know, like improving the ferry system; ensuring that the beaches are clean; devising a half decent parking scheme in Victoria; making it possible for people to actually go places using public transport; stopping developments from further encroaching on the pristine beaches and countryside; getting rid of the illegal buildings...

That should fill up the next couple of months quite nicely, and not a single toilet in sight.

Oh, and while at it, how about ensuring that this lofty toilet that received the full ministerial treatment is actually accessible to all? As an acquaintance pointed out, the positioning of the toilet itself means that a wheelchair is unlikely to fit.

But hey... The inauguration looked pretty impressive. I hear they even had a minister in attendance. So that's all right, I guess.