Kristina Chetcuti dreads revision time and feels probably more stressed than her daughter before exams. She describes her jittery experience and shares a few tips to help parents breeze through the most daunting time of the year.

The sun is streaming through my kitchen window, the orange tree in the garden is blossoming, the birds are tweeting, the bees are buzzing and I can even spot a butterfly or two. Yes, this can only mean one thing. Exam time.

Did you just hear a really loud, thunder-like ‘argh’ echoing around the island? Don’t be alarmed, that was just me. I, um, dread exam time.

When the editor asked if I could write a piece giving advice to parents on how children can cope better during this time, and how to make revision fun and tips about not letting stress overcome the whole family, I gave an inward wail. I need the tips myself; I want someone to give me advice.

Maybe I can write about how for the month of June, I become Sargeant Major Kristina, I wear a T-shirt saying CREW on my back and go round with a whistle round my neck and a stopwatch in my palm, shouting “Go! Go! Go!”. The kitchen becomes the ‘war room’ and the fridge door is full of magnets holding timetables and schedules, and every other minute we’re crossing off revision deadlines met. Not.

The truth is that I forget all about exams, and merely hum “la-di-la-di” and make daisy chains until the day my daughter comes from school and tells me: “During PSHD the teacher asked us if we were revising and all the children in the class said that they are studying six hours a day.”

S-s-s-ix hours?

I start counting on my fingers.

Sweat trickles down my forehead.

Then I finally work out the math.

“How is that possible? If they get home at 4pm from school, it means they are staying up till 10pm!”

She nods which means ‘duh’.

I sigh and start making revision plans.

I send my daughter to a school which is rather academically relaxed, hence the reason I chose it; in fact, she only started proper exams last year, age eight. But, still, there is tension around exam time.

Somehow, the Very Organised Parents end up talking a lot about revision, the teachers try to instil a sense of studying, the children compare the hours, and that leaves us, the Chillaxed Parents, dreading the last part of the scholastic year.

No matter how much you try not to succumb to exam pressure, the tension still somehow seeps in and we have moments of panic particularly at bedtime.

“Mama! I think I did not revise this or that/I forgot all about this or that/I can’t remember this and that!”

Which means that in the morning, as she’s putting on the uniform, I’m running a spell check/going over the timetables/solving a fictitious maths problem.

“If the van picks the girl up at 7.47am and she arrives at school at 8.30am, how long does it take to get to school?”

“I don’t know! I need to draw a timeline!”

The (real) van comes – no time for byes.

“The answer is 43 minutes,” I’m calling as she climbs up the van.

“GOODLUCK!” I mouth as she presses her face to the window, still working out those 43 minutes in her little head.

I wave. My trembling hand is indicative of the bag of nerves that I become that morning. It’s worse than sitting for the exam yourself. I go to work, but don’t really know what I’m doing.

“How long will our meeting last?” asks a colleague.
“Err, 43 minutes?” I say blankly.

Finally, the clock ticks away and I pick her up from school. She looks cheerful. My heart skips a beat.

“How did it go?” I say.

“Oh, not well,” she says happily. “All the other children said they knew everything, I didn’t at all.”

I hunch up and go in my shell. I failed my daughter. I walk about like a sad snail until one day, while watching television, not even looking up from the screen, the daughter goes: “Oh by the way, the teacher said I did well.”

She did? When? What? How?
“Um, last week. I forgot to tell you.”

TEENAGERS' DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE

Then there is the totally different experience of teenager’s exams. I can say that teenagers have a habit of lying on the sofa watching the TV, with a bowl of cereal on their chest and when you ask if they are, ahem, studying, they go: “Wuh.”

And then when you pick them up from their ‘O’ level or ‘A’ level exam centre, and you ask, with your fingernails pressing hard in the steering wheel but trying to sound very jolly wolly, “How was it?” They say: “Yeah, good. They didn’t ask the question I revised for, so I just answered it anyway.”

And then the teenagers go home and head to the sofa and even though they have an exam the next day, they lie there texting or shouting at football players on the PlayStation. You’d be forgiven for thinking that the next exam is on Juventus. So you ask tentatively again, if they are, ahem, studying? And sure enough they say: “Ijja”.

So you have no option but to go the chapel in Kalkara and pray to St Jude Thaddeus, patron saint of hope. And what do you know? The mix of Play­Station and Juve and St Jude works: the teenagers mostly do well.

All in all, therefore, exam time is nerve wrecking. Which is why everyone is irritable in May and June and why in July everyone is so hip hip hurrah.

All in all, therefore, exam time is nerve wrecking. Which is why everyone is irritable in May and June and why in July everyone is so hip hip hurrah. The children – whatever their age – are stressed because they have to perform; and the mothers and fathers become anxious because exams are the one thing that they cannot do for them.

Of course we, the parents, know that it is not the end of the world if our children do not do well in exams. There is no need for anyone to tell us that. What worries us is the effect a bad result would have on our children: will it set them back? will it be a blow to their confidence? will it lead them to being bullied?

But, of course, we don’t say that to the children. If the results are out and it’s not good news, we mumble a diplomatic “I told you so”, but then move on to list the plenty of people who did not give up at the first hurdle and now have wonderful lives. And by then it’s proper summer, so we all head for some beach therapy.

EXAM TIME SURVIVAL SKILLS FOR PARENTS

• avoid chatting to super-organised mummies until exam time is over; only hang out with mummies who empathise;
• eat chocolate;
• and Twistees;
• dream of June 30;
• do irreverent things like going swimming a week before the exam: that will surprise the children and make them think you’re cool, increasing the chance of them listening to you by 10 per cent;
• don’t quiz teenagers about their progress every other hour, just sigh dramatically instead;
• release the tension by listening to loud music and sing along loudly in the car;
• keep calm, if not leave the room, and gnaw at a pencil;
• when things get too irritable take deep breaths/count to 10/plop your head in the freezer;
• remember that your offspring may revise differently to you;
• if you are able to, make a timetable, spanning over 60 days pre-exam time and encourage your children to revise an hour a day (if you manage to do this, please e-mail me the instructions!);
• reassure your children that you’ll still love them and the world will not fall apart if they give it their all but still don’t do well.

CONSOLATION: THESE PEOPLE FAILED THEIR EXAMS
 

Albert Einstein
At 16, when he first applied to enter the Polytechnic Institute in Zurich, Switzerland, he failed the entrance exam. He grew up to become one of the greatest theoretical physicists of all time.

Isaac Newton
He was a lacklustre student and failed a few exams. Yet, he had one of the greatest scientific minds in history and all modern science and technology stem from his work.

Thomas Edison
The most famous inventor of all time went to school for only three months. Among his inventions were the electric bulb and phonograph, the telephone and the electric generator.

Benjamin Franklin
He failed arithmetic as a boy and worked in the family’s candle and soap shop. Then he grew up as America’s great statesman, scientist and public leader.

Charles Darwin
He did so badly at school that his father took him out, saying: “You care for nothing but shooting, dogs and rat catching. You will be a disgrace to yourself and all your family.” He grew up to revolutionise the science of biology.

Sir Winston Churchill
He failed the entrance exam for the Royal Military College not once, but twice. He went on to become an author, artist, statesman and prime minister of England.

Simon Cowell
He dropped out of school at the age of 16 and took up a job as a mail clerk. Today he is a TV producer and executive of The X Factor, America’s Got Talent and Britain’s Got Talent and a millionaire manager of celebrities.

Richard Branson
He quit school aged 16. Today he runs an airline, a train line, a leisure and fitness service, a phone company, experience days and an internet/television service to name just a few. Branson is one of the richest men in the world.

This article was first published in Child magazine, distributed with Times of Malta. 

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.