Can a relationship last forever? Is it possible for a couple to stay together for a life time? Recently I met a couple from my parish who believe this is possible provided that the couple are both committed to work at it.
In October 2012, Joanna and Julian Sant Fournier created an innovative communication tool to help couples build a strong relationship. This couple had been working in the voluntary sector for over 14 years. Through their work they meet couples at different stages in their relationship, first when they are full of excitement during the early years of courtship and then as they pass through the ups and downs of everyday life. Unfortunately some couples pass through crisis and end up separating.
Having witnessed the pain which these families and children pass through when a marriage breaks down, they decided to do something about it, they wanted to find a way how to help couples build strong relationships and teach them the skills to be sincere, express their feelings and resolve their differences in a loving way.
During one of the sessions, while working with a couple to prepare for marriage, they felt inspired to test an idea by writing feelings on a card. The couples loved it and encouraged them to go further. So Joanna and Julian decided to write all their experiences and suggestions to develop a fun technique called ‘Couple Cards’ which couples can use.
To date they have met over 1,400 couples and organised many workshops for groups and the public in general. They have started sharing the idea internationally and the initiative is now available in several languages including Maltese, English, Dutch, German, French, Latvian, Portuguese and Chinese. Their dream is to share the Couple Cards across the world with all couples who would like to build a strong relationship.
If relationships get broken they need to be fixed
Encouraged by the then President George Abela, they set up a voluntary foundation, Relationships are Forever, to share the idea. This foundation encourages people of good will from all walks of life to use their talent to help couples build a strong relationship.
Over the four years, people started believing in the idea that if they all contribute their talents and dedicate some time to society they can make the world a better place. This has created a lot of positive energy and a good feeling which is so much needed in today’s challenging world.
Julian and Joanna say that these four years were not easy, full of challenges but they persevered and never lost hope as they believed that what they were doing would make a difference. As Mother Theresa said: “We are a drop in the ocean but the ocean without that drop will not be the same.”
When I had first met Julian and Joanna they told me that when they started this journey they told themselves that if they manage to help just one couple it would have all been worth it as they would have helped a generation.
They believe that if relationships get broken they need to be fixed. When I read the cards, I realised that the underlying message of the cards is that of love, peace and forgiveness, which in reality is the message of Our Lord and also that of Pope Francis.
Their wish is to share this initiative so that each couple in Malta and Gozo will realise the necessity to work on their relationship every day. The ‘Couple Cards’ are available when attending a workshop during which each couple is given a set of cards and explained how they are used.
There is no charge for the workshop but donations are welcomed as they help cover the costs and make this initiative sustainable.
I encourage the Church and government authorities and agencies to use their resources, media, contacts and facilitators to help this couple in their desire to help others build a strong relationship.
They have also set up www.couplecards.com, which contains information and photos on the project and www.facebook.com/couplecards which helps to reach out to the younger generation and share positive messages.
Let us hope that this initiative gets all the support it deserves so that we will have strong and stable relationships which are the foundation of a good society.
Fr Hermann Duncan is currently serving at the Balluta Carmelite Priory.