The nameless drone at Transport Malta who came up with the vile idea of having floating billboards may not have been expecting the tsunami of public revulsion for the proposal, otherwise it wouldn’t ever have been floated.
When people heard about the prospect of having their tranquil sea views spoilt with ugly bobbing adverts (or the even more horrific prospect of having oversized inflatables of politicians set upon the waves) they immediately voiced their objections. There were even veiled references to the floaters being vandalised and a call to boycott the products advertised.
It was a huge marketing fail – even before actually being implemented.
Whoever comes up with these ideas has grossly underestimated people’s discontent with the ugliness and tackiness of the Maltese urban and rural landscape. We resent living in a 3D bazaar catalogue packed with billboards, adverts, posters, plastic tents and a jungle of plastic furniture. We bristle at the thought of the relatively untouched sea being used as another canvas for pushy advertisers.
The all-pervasiveness of the sales-pitch is draining and depressing. We’re constantly being bombarded to buy or support products. There is no opportunity to just be – we are addressed only as potential consumers.
Perhaps the promo should have featured the capital of dog turds and cranes that is Sliema, the sleaze and vomit-ville that is Paceville
In order to try and mitigate the public fallout about the scheme, Transport Malta has made faint noises about some of the income from the floaters being utilised for the upkeep or upgrading of the beaches in question.
I absolutely loathe this weasly reasoning that effectively justifies the commercialisation of public land because the State doesn’t do what it is supposed to. Our beaches should be cleaned and maintained on a regular basis as a matter of course. We should not have to put up with ugly inflatables to have this done.
If the government is hard up for funding for this, it could fire a couple of people living it up in positions of trust and channel their salaries to more useful purposes. In any case, it should stop pimping our public spaces to intrusive, hard-sell businesses.
• Another government entity that has got my goat is the Malta Tourism Authority. It has done this by coming up with a lovely video.
That’s right – the video is perfect. It opens with a breathtaking view of the Grand Harbour highlighting the sparkling sea, turning to the honey-coloured limestone fortifications.
We catch a glimpse of a gardjola, then it’s a bird’s-eye view of an impressive cruise liner. A colourful luzzu glides through the waves. Blonde girls laugh on a yacht.
We pan over to a spotlessly clean street in Vittoriosa lined with plants and flowers. Brawny oarsmen row in the regatta. Trays of fresh fish gleam in the sun, interspersed with shots of ‘I Love Malta’ T-shirts.
The Cittadella in Gozo features, as does the Azure Window and the Blue Grotto. The camera hovers up in the blue, blue sky capturing shiny, happy people canoeing or diving into the inviting sea or lapping up the sun on a sandy beach.
And then – just when it couldn’t get more idyllic – we get to see people horse riding, trotting along a green stretch with the lush grass muffling the horses’ clippety-clop. This was followed by another popular pastime in Malta – that of cycling. Again – the cyclist was pictured in the countryside drawing in lungfuls of clean, unpolluted air.
To round it off, we saw a runner jogging through the same sort of uncontaminated countryside as the happy horse rider and cyclist – the same verdant pastures over which a couple rambled close to a dramatic cliffside scene. The fireworks bonanza at the end coincided with my annoyed sputtering.
The clip is quite perfect in artistic and marketing terms. It presents an attractive mix of charming landscapes, gorgeous scenery and Mediterranean vibrancy. If I watched it, I’d want to visit this fantastic fairy tale place where I could swim and run and cycle and ride and gorge on fresh fish.
Only thing is, I think that the Malta tourists actually experience is not the same as that presented on the MTA tin.
I’m aware of the fact that promoting a destination entails presenting its most attractive aspects, but really, horse riding, running and cycling in the countryside? What countryside? Those few thousand square metres of scraggy soil lined with rusty fridges and abandoned mattresses? The repository of abandoned toilets walled with billboards?
And where are those unpolluted cerulean waves? If Transport Malta had its way, they would be dotted over with ugly inflatables.
Also, if we’re not into photoshopped images, perhaps the promo should have featured the capital of dog turds and cranes that is Sliema, the sleaze and vomit-ville that is Paceville, and the traffic congestion on our roads.
Otherwise, I’m afraid that visitors will soon realise that there’s a huge difference between the Malta that’s being marketed and the Malta they find. After watching that MTA video, they’ll be disappointed to see that it’s not what it says on the tin.
cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt