I recently got an e-mail from a friend, which went something like this: “You know what Kris, IMHO, you need to get a bla bla.”

I ignored the rest of the e-mail. IMHO? What’s that? My beloved Siri told me that IMHO is an acronym for ‘In My Humble Opinion’. This, I suppose tells you very much about my age: I refuse to use the acronym LOL for ‘laugh out loud’ or 10x for ‘thanks’. I’m all for teenagers using their own abbreviated lingo, but surely for those of us 40 and over, life is not that short to type things in their entirety?

Do you get the feeling that these days it’s very difficult to distinguish between adults and teenagers? I was leafing over the March 28, 1966 Times of Malta, handed out with last Monday’s issue for the 450th anniversary since the setting up of the city of Valletta and one look at the adverts says it all: men in pipes, ladies in pearls, children with their hair tied in bows. Adults were adults, children were children. Not so now; the lines are blurred. Fifty-year-olds are wearing nose rings and 20-somethings are wearing Rolexes.

Partly to blame is social media because it makes us talk about ourselves, posting our every thought and photos of our every action to hundreds of people we barely know. It makes us want to be constantly the centre of attention, which is very teenagery in essence. It is also partly because teens and young adults have become very boxy, unrebellious and unadventurous. Therefore, it stands to reason that by the time they’re 50, they flip. I keep thinking of that Brad Pitt film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, in which he lives life in the reverse. Here are some tips to help set things in the right course:

20 things to do in your 20s:

1. Travel but not for shopping – avoid Catania and Oxford Street in London. Instead head to remote villages and off the beaten track.

2. Go and learn a language in its native country.

3. Go on a volunteering experience outside the European continent.

4. Take a gap year between your studies and travel.

5. If you’re working, spend all your income on travelling.

6. Travel rough: sleep in tents, camp, shower in a cold river.

7. Do not get a job with the civil service or you’ll be imprisoned for life with people telling you that you should never give up job security for life.

8. Don’t be scared to change jobs: you can only find out what you want to do by doing different things and meeting new people.

9. Work abroad and if you like the country don’t be tempted to take a loan and buy a house there.

10. Rent.

11. Party, spend whole weekends with friends, stay up from sunset till sunrise, huddle in sleeping bags on a roof telling ghost stories.

12. Protest: be the voice of dissent, your 20s are not the age to be neutral.

13. Experiment with your hair: dye it in different colours; shave it; get dreadlocks or one of them; bead strings.

14. Sleep lots and have loads of lie-ins; you’ll never be able to do that in your 30s.

15. Don’t get into a stable relationship before you’re out of your teens and most certainly don’t couple up just because all your other friends have done so.

16. Have at least one heart-breaking relationship. It hurts for a long, long time, but as a friend says, after a while you’ll be able to shrug and tell the dumper: “Bħalek hawn mija, u aħjar minnek hawn miljun.”

17. Go to Serkin and eat pastizzi at four in the morning.

18. Don’t plan.

19. Touch people not screens. It’s much more fun to roll around on the floor in an amorous embrace than comparing Instagram accounts on the iPhone.

20. Have children in your late 20s.

10 things to do when you’re over 40

1. Remember that Facebook was developed by teenagers, for teenagers. You are an adult: get over your fear of missing out.

2. You should not, at this point, care desperately about the opinions of others.

3. There is no need to brag and clamour for attention of people you don’t know.

4. Don’t ignore people sitting at your own dinner table; chat with real people.

5. Embrace moments of solitude.

6. Travel to new places which nourish your soul.

7. Go to museums – spend a day walking around taking in the beauty of art and the lessons of history.

8. Don’t waste time watching rubbish television, particularly Maltese teleseries where everyone is always scowling angrily.

9. Learn something new.

10. Only spend time with people who make you laugh and bring out the best in you.

krischetcuti2gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti