• Goodness! What a fuss – just because poor Konrad and Keet-almighty opened a couple of companies overseas. Ridiculous no?
I mean what’s the big deal about having a shelf company in Panama? It’s not as if he’d set it up in North Korea.
It’s really just another instance of the Opposition clutching at straws. They are obviously in total awe of Jo-zeff’s greatness and are willing to resort to desperate tactics to try (and fail) to shatter his veneer of invulnerability. Sorry guys, you’ve failed again… I think.
• And here I think is the right place to turn to something much more serious and which directly concerns my – till now – unimpeachable integrity.
I refer to the totally false accusation, in some scurrilous woman’s blog that I – yes I – am guilty of financial misappropriation.
So here and now I would like to issue the strongest possible denial that, on Sunday, March 6, 2016, in my capacity as president of my local Premier League football club, I absconded with the entire bar takings of the club on the day in question.
Further, I totally deny that I, in this same capacity, through the offices of a certain Robert ‘Scandia’ Tonna, opened a bank account in the Caribbean tax haven of Key Freebie, with the express intention of both stealing said monies and concealing the fact.
There. I hope that this puts an end to all those slanderous and defamatory blogposts and media comments.
• To happier topics: I greatly enjoyed a few drinks in that popular – well, popular among us government high-ups – Valletta car, the Cowshed, with my old friend Chris… a perpetual habitué of said boozer.
I greatly enjoyed a few drinks in that popular – well, popular among us government high-ups – Valletta car, the Cowshed
I have – of late – come to realise that it is a really great place to both socialise and network, where you can meet any number of influential ħbieb tal-gvern. This is a find that could be very profitable… I mean useful, in my er… dedicated quest to er… serve both my constituents and myself.
• Sadly, poor old Motormouth didn’t make it to the European Court of Auditors… whatever.
I have to admit that I, along with a good few other members of the government benches, suspected he wouldn’t. As one of my colleagues opined: “It’s a bit like an anorexic midget auditioning for the role of Rambo.”
But I have to take issue with those members of the Opposition press corps who were bare-faced enough to make the scurrilous suggestion that Jo-zeff engineered Motormouth’s humiliation in order to leave the way clear for Konrad to be ushered in as deputy leader for party affairs.
What a slanderous thing to say! I know Jo-zeff and I know he would never stoop that low… or… anyway, it looks as though Motormouth is back to stay.
So we can quite soon expect the plaintive cries of: “Permettili, permettili!” to once more ring mournfully around the Xarabank studio.
• In the unlikely event of Jo-zeff having to sack Konrad from his party post, speculation is rife about who will be next in line. Despite the fact that it is well known that… ahem, I am the ideal candidate, strangely none of the media seem to agree.
I’ve even heard the outlandish suggestion that the perfect replacement would be… King Jo-zeff’s radiant ‘console’ Meesh.
No, seriously, that can’t be serious… can it? I mean, she could never qualify. Besides, she’d be obliged to turn up on time for meetings, something she’s not exactly terribly good at.
• Yet more fantasy accusations in the so-called Witch of Bidnija’s blog recently were rubbished by none other than the target of her bile. Who reads that stuff anyway?
If you want to read the true account of events just zap onto the blog of my very good friend and Castille resident Clem Bedwettingfeel and get the facts of the non-scandal straight from the horse’s mouth.
Comments:
Deus ex Macina writes: Prosit Backbencher, you obviously have a great love for our dear leader.
Sleeping with the enemy writes: Sir, you are the chronicler of the most corrupt government in our entire history.