Premier Smell The Coffee Muscat said he will sack Panama Hats if an audit of his Panamanian company finds hidden assets inside the offshore company, in which Hats says he has €92 at the moment.    

You really have to ask, does Premier Muscat think we're really so completely gullible, that we're going to believe that this is an adequate response on his part to a political scandal that has rocked his government to its very roots?

I mean, seriously, think of the way the “tax audit” is going to happen.  

It will be something like this:

[sound of ringing tone] … ‘Allo, Office of Registrar of Companies of Panama ‘ere, wadda you want?”

[voice of secretary to director general income tax, Malta] “Hello, hi, I want to do a tax audit on a company owned by a New Zealand trust, it’s called Hearnvillve Inc?”

[sound of phone being put down]

Hello, hi, I want to do a tax audit on a company owned by a New Zealand trust, it’s called Hearnvillve Inc?

[voice of secretary to director general income tax, Malta] “Iiii, ara, I must have got cut off… let me try again.”

[sound of ringing tone] … ‘Allo, Office of Registrar of Companies of Panama ‘ere, wadda you want?”

[voice of secretary director general income tax, Malta] “Hello, hi, I want to do a tax audit on a company owned by a New Zealand trust, it’s called Hearnvillve Inc?”

[sound of phone being put down]

[voice of director general income tax, Malta] “Iiii, ara, I must have got cut off… let me try again.”

[sound of ringing tone] … ‘Allo, Office of Registrar of Companies of Panama ‘ere, wadda you want?”

[voice of secretary to director general income tax, Malta] “Hello, hi, I want to do a tax audit on a company owned by a New Zealand trust, it’s called Hearnvillve Inc?”

[sound of phone being put down]

And so on and so forth, you get the picture.

Eventually, the DG-Income Tax will have to report that no evidence has been found of any millions in a Panamanian company, which means that Dr the Hon Konrad Panama Hats Mizzi will be safe, and Premier Coffee Muscat will have kept his word with the electorate.

Not the one about a new power station being on-stream last year or whenever it was, and not the one about meritocracy and transparency being his government’s watch-words, just the one about firing Hats Mizzi if it is found that he had stashed millions in Panama.  

Read my lips, guys, whether or not Hats had or has or will have millions is not the point, the point is that he created this peculiar construct which should have made his boss’s eyebrows head towards the stratosphere.

 

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