Some unforgiving coaches of yesteryear would famously and universally proclaim to their aggrieved athletes: “Walk it off!” Sprained ankle? Busted ribs? Dry cough? Flaring temper? Bruised ego? No problem, just walk it off! What a wonderful world it would be if our most troubling concerns could wither away so easily.
Now here is a magical Christmas wish that might just be realised: what if it really were that simple? Would you consider slipping on those magical walking shoes if I reassured you a pressing concern troubling a vast number of us at the moment could in actual reality be ‘walked off’?
Most of us will have overdone the fattening festive celebrations, but let us not cry over the spilled full-fat milk currently located in our hips, thighs and bellies. We want some cold, hard solutions, and preferably some cold, hard figures to guide us. Yes, we are going to walk this problem off and work out exactly how many minutes of it will get the job done.
According to the principle of energy balance, we measure intake and expenditure in terms of a well-known unit of measure: the calorie. A calorie is the amount of heat energy required to raise the temperature of a kilogram of water by one degree centigrade. The food we eat and the activity we indulge in can all be considered in terms of their equivalence to calories.
To quantify our excess consumption, and for sake of simplicity, we can use the very same system Santa uses in his present-distribution calculations; it all depends on how naughty you have been. If you managed to stay away from virtually all Christmas treats and your only sin this year was indulging in Christmas and New Year’s day lunch, no more than a couple of mince pies, a slice of Christmas pudding and perhaps a few glasses of red wine, then you have been very good indeed.
Factoring in the caloric values of these foods and the difference between the two three-course meals – as opposed to the regular meals you would have otherwise eaten – your total damage may have been limited to within a couple of thousand excess calories only: a real achievement.
On the other end of the spectrum, let us consider a season of gluttony even Santa might scoff at. The average mince pie packs a high-energy punch of about 290 calories, a slice of Christmas log about 300 and the average morsels we pick from decorative boxes of chocolates in such plentiful supply about 60 calories a piece. Just one glass of mulled wine packs about a hundred calories, and the list goes on.
Punching just a few of these values into our calculator reveals the tendency for the total Christmas calorie count to rise quickly and exponentially. Factor in a healthy dose of binge drinking on Christmas and New Year’s eve, and you could easily be close to or in excess of 10,000 calories above the norm if you held little to no restraint.
You’ve got all of January to obliterate your walk-it-off target. Keep a log on your fridge and take pride in scratching off the minutes as you go
So what were you? A naughty 2,000 calories? A very naughty 6,000 calories to consider the mid-point? Or a seriously-scandalised- Santa-naughty at 10,000 calories?
If we can agree on how many calories we burn during the average walk, then we are pretty close to a very real walk-it-off target we can get down to sinking our teeth into. We expend anywhere between 120 and 750 calories per hour when we walk. This is a huge variation dependent on your body weight, how fast you walk and, of course, how fit you are.
Generally, the less fit you are, the more strenuous the act of walking will be and the larger the metabolic demands on your body. For a very fit individual, a walk in the park will be just that: the metaphorical ‘walk in the park’ or, pardon the pun, a ‘piece of cake’. So the fitter you are, the faster you are going to have to walk to keep up with whatever averages we set.
The Harvard energy expenditure chart puts the average value of moderate walking at 230 calories per hour or up to 400 for vigorous power walking. Many experts narrow the estimate down further to approximately 270 to 280 calories per hour, with the lower end of this range equating to about 4.5 calories per minute.
Using these figures, our three categories equate to walking targets of 450 minutes if you were naughty, 1,350 minutes if you were very naughty and 2,250 if you ate and drank the unthinkable. In more useful time references, these equate to about 7.5, 22.5 and 37.5 hours of walking respectively. Sound hefty?
Yes, they are, and the first thing these types of calculations often lead to is the realisation that it is easier to say no to a naughty treat in the first place than it is to compensate for it later on. But do not let that put you off at this stage. It is time to tuck in to your target, and here are a few guidelines.
You have got all of January to obliterate your walk-it-off target. Keep a log on your kitchen fridge and take pride in scratching off the minutes as you go. Break up and space out your tally however you like: 10-minute bouts spaced evenly throughout your day are just as good as blocks of 60.
If the minutes are taking too long to annihilate, step it up and consider that high-intensity exercise is worth twice the calories. For every minute spent running or working hard in the gym, scratch two from your walking target.
matthew.muscat.inglott@mcast.edu.mt