“The birth of my son”, the caption read, followed by the name of the camera used to take that all-important shot. The subject of the photograph is a newborn baby being lifted out of his mother’s womb by C-section. There he is, still coated in waxy vernix, scrunching his tiny face as he takes his first breaths in the light. His mother’s slit stomach can be glimpsed though not in close-up. The child’s miraculous first moments have been recorded for posterity and broadcast to the world on that grand bazaar of social media – Facebook.

Jostling for attention with Nutella recipes, political memes, parking-shaming pics and anxious queries about supermarket opening hours, there’s a newborn child only a few seconds old. Birth photography has come to Malta. I suppose it was only a matter of time before the latest pregnancy/birth fad surfaced over here.

Over these last months I’ve seen the proliferation of pregnancy photoshoots and their inevitable posting online. There’s one where a very young mother-to-be sports grotesque, almost Joker-like makeup and poses provocatively. Her distended belly is striated with stretchmarks. The linea negris which denotes pregnancy runs from her protruding belly button. The man/boy who is presumably the father joins in with those most-clichéd poses of pregnancy shoots – the obligatory kissing of the bump and placing his hands in a heart shape round her belly button. And then with a final ridiculous flourish, a huge yellow ribbon has been tied into a bow around her stomach.

There were others, but for some reason this girl struck me most. It may have been the contrast between the florid, pasty make-up and her youth. Or perhaps it was the silly bow round her belly making her look like a mascaraed turkey trussed up for Christmas. Mostly, I wondered why she would feel the need to pose for a pregnancy photoshoot.

I’m a firm believer in different strokes for different folk philosopy. As long as they don’t harm anyone else in the process, people are free to do, highlight and show off whatever they please. They do, of course. From the slew of selfies in a transparent attempt at fishing for compliments, to inane requests for information that could be obtained elsewhere (“Am I pregnant?” accompanied by a photo of a pregnancy test) to filming themselves squeezing their spots (there’s actually a dedicated website), it seems that many people use Facebook as a forum to reveal whatever they are thinking or feeling.

The obsessive mania to record and upload all events detracts from actually experiencing them fully

Many don’t pause to consider what kind of impression their posts may have to a potentially wide audience. Call it being unguarded sincerity or verbal diarrohea, take your pick – people are free to post and you’re free not to ignore. The same principle applies to birth and pregnancy photography. If people want to bare their nether regions, their souls and their most intimate moments to the world, they can go ahead and do so. However, they should be aware of the inevitable consequences of their constant self-exposure.

I would say that the obsessive mania to record and upload all events detracts from actually experiencing them fully. Even if you’re a dab hand with a camera or a mobile phone, focusing and taking the shot replaces the act of living through it first hand.

I remember a time when we would smile wryly at Japanese tourists who filmed every moment of their holiday trip – down to the guided museum tour. I couldn’t help thinking that poring over the footage on a small screen back home could never be a substitute for the real thing. In fact, taking that footage detracted from the experience. However, it seems that we’ve moved away from that line of thought and prefer to live our lives on screen after the actual event.

Sadder still is the fact that since private moments are being offered for public consumption, everything has been transformed into a production not a natural life event. Pregnancy and birth are typical examples of significant life events that have been given the glamour-production treatment. Yes, they are important events for people, but women have been giving birth since the dawn of time; it’s not as if every birth needs to be uploaded online to be assessed or rated by strangers.

Another inevitable side effect of exhibitionistic exposure is the way that it becomes competitive – our online posts have to be funnier, more revealing and more attractive than those posted by others.

I was alerted to this, by the post of a mother who was perfectly happy with her lovely, healthy baby but who was annoyed at the fact that her friend had used the services of the same pregnancy photographer and was photographed in the same pregnancy poses.

Leaving aside how many different poses one can waddle into while pregnant, doesn’t this show that we have lost sight of the main event – contentedness with our own lot instead of this frenzied competitiveness with others? Apparently not.

The term ‘envy spiral’ has been coined to refer to this one-upmanship we see across social media, where people try to present a superior image of themselves to others – who in turn try to go one up, in a never-ending spiral of showing off. So much better to ditch that camera phone and just live in the moment without the added complications of the constant social media competition.

cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt

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