And so we say farewell to Jo-zeff’s most triumphant year to date, 2015… and hello to the year that will surely surpass even that… 2016.
I often ask myself the question: Can life get any better under Jozeff’s benign dictatorship? Of course, the answer is no, this is perfection in government… especially for us acolytes who subscribe unreservedly to our leader’s philosophy of: ‘Blessed are those who serve me blindly… for they shall inherit the perks.’
And I am proud to number myself among those who have helped to empty the country’s coffers, in pursuit of our very own socialist paradise.
At the beginning of a new year, full of hope and optimism in the shining beam of Jo-zeff’s munificence, it pains me to refer to a most unsavoury incident.
I refer, of course, to the Opposition’s relentless hounding of a sweet, cuddly and extremely elderly gentleman. Some have called their actions despicable… I – mindful of my position in the upper echelons of our governing party – will restrict myself to the adjective… unfortunate.
The victim of the Opposition’s misguided pursuit is that cutenatured venerable old codger… Joe Debono Grech.
Have they no shame? The poor old boy is well into his dotage… read my lips, scum… He knows not what he says!
And I, for one, totally agree that while his behaviour in Parliament may occasionally be, shall we say, a tad eccentric, as befits a senior citizen, I certainly do not subscribe to the assertion that the small pools of liquid beneath his chair in the chamber… could be anything other than leaks from the recently in stall - ed air-conditioning system. How dare anyone suggest otherwise.
Then what about all that hot air expelled by Opposition hacks, whining about that villa my good friend and colleague Ian (Permit? What permit?) Borg is building for himself in the l/o Rabat?
I’ve even heard the poor guy called arrogant by some Opposition low-lifes, for his reaction to the Ombudsman’s slap on the wrist.
Yet again I hear the incessant low moan of whingeing coming from what’s left of the Opposition’s media
Arrogant? Whenever I hear that word only one name springs to mind.
Arrogant = Austin… full stop.
Listen up losers – Opposition media, that is – leave the boy alone! He’s only doing what you lot did for a quarter of a century, before we both showed you the door and how to do these things properly.
These days life is lovely in Labour-land – despite the pin pricks of whining from the raving right. So let’s keep it that way, shall we?
But yet again I hear the incessant low moan of whingeing coming from what’s left of the Opposition’s media, this time bleating about the fact that Jozeff is, quite rightly, giving some of the best and most lucrative posts to close friends, relatives, confidantes and hangers-on.
Well for heaven’s sake! What do you expect him to do, give them to proven Opposition sympathisers? No chance, in case you hadn’t noticed… we won the election, so we can do what the hell we like.
Whine on losers, time is on our side!
And still on the tedious subject of the Opposition’s media, the assertion recently, by one of their columnists, that my participation in Parliament had been “at best – peripheral” is nonsense.
For instance, it was I who – during that long boring speech by the Opposition spokesman for cultural abominations – called him a rude name in a very loud voice.
And – when the Opposition spokesperson for minimal education rose in Parliament to ask a question, it was I who let rip with a loud and protracted raspberry. Peripheral participation? Rubbish!
Finally, this month, I extend New Year greetings to all my constituents and all fellow party members. And I promise you all that in 2016 I shall continue to work tirelessly for both your welfare and also for my inevitable rise to the top of government… watch this space.
Comments:
Simply red writes: As the late great Muammar Ghaddafi once remarked to the equally late and even greater Is-Salvatur: “You are building a socialist paradise that will last for 1,000 years.”
Bluebottle writes: Heaven preserve us from ambitious ħamalli.