While Christmas may have been the merriest time of the year for many, a counselling psychologist points out that for those dealing with mental health issues, it can be an especially trying time.
According to Ingrid Grech Lanfranco, “it is not just the children who may feel they are missing out or are different to others, and who feel alone.
“There are many more persons, vulnerable and not, who find that the Christmas period is a particularly difficult time to get by,” says Ms Grech Lanfranco.
There are even those who are going through difficulties such as family break ups, illness, loss etc.
Although she does not have any research at hand to refer to, Ms Grech Lanfranco believes that “the expectations tied around the Christmas/New Year period, portraying merriment, celebration, good health and abundance of all that is good, amplify the suffering of those who for one reason or another cannot identify with the same expectations of being merry”.
“Whether this is because of past memories of Christmas, present difficulties or impending loss, I tend to believe that it is very particular for each and every individual,” the psychologist continues.
However, some who are vulnerable or going through a rough patch may still find peace. Some have suffered tragedies around Christmas/New Year’s Day, and hence the memory of a loss at such a specific time of the year will inevitably trigger different emotions.
People have different realities, life circumstances and experiences which may not always be obvious to those around them
As Christmas starts approaching, television adverts from charities about vulnerable children start making an appearance. But how do the children watching the ads actually feel about them?
Ms Grech Lanfranco cannot really tell.
“Some children are exceptionally resilient, and cope better than adults. Moreover, a lot of effort is put into granting children their wishes. Adverts are a reminder that not everyone is comfortable, not everyone can celebrate in the context of a family, not everyone has that family,” she adds.
“On one hand ads help sensitise people to other realities, while at the same time, those who live in other realities might be made to feel they are different. This is a very personal experience, as not everyone has the same situation and the same response. It may be an area that merits further exploration and research.”
In general, Ms Grech Lanfranco feels we must all become sensitive to others and never assume that everyone is the same.
“People have different realities, life circumstances and experiences which may not always be obvious to those around them. The Christmas/New Year period, can weigh down heavily on those who feel alone, who feel misunderstood, who are in some way or other disadvantaged, ill or suffering a loss of any kind. Presents, parties, lunches and extravagances are nice but short-lived, and do not make up for the inner void that some feel at this time of year, and possibly all the time,” explains the family therapist.
Being present, sensitive and attentive to others’ needs, can be the difference that makes a change in the lives of so many who suffer in silence.