Anyone getting their undergarments in a twist over the prospect of a somewhat dumbed-down programme of events for the upcoming Żebbieħ Euro Year of Culture 2018, can put their mind to rest… I, Sylvanus, have seen the prospective programme of events and, believe me, they are everything you would expect.
We are promised a feast of all that we in Malta regard as high culture – and naturally we all want to know what the most prestigious presentations will be. Well I can report that the committee responsible for these has dug deep and scheduled a veritable cornucopia of goodies.
If we take theatre first: We are promised an all-new production of possibly the greatest of all Maltese dramas, Żeża tal-Flagship, as well as an all-star staging of that perennial Maltese language heavyweight, Id-Daddy. These will both be put on at the Med Con Centre – and I for one can hardly wait.
Culture doesn’t come much higher or more sophisticated than this. Obviously both productions will be cast from our finest and most experienced actors, plus the fact that direction for both plays will be undertaken by directors from the top drawer of local theatre.
I understand that there will also be a restaging of that most beloved and professional of Maltese language musicals, Ġensna, performed by our premiere singers and dancers… especially those of a left-leaning bent… one not to miss.
But what of pure music? Oh there will be lots of that: There is apparently an Għanafest scheduled for Teatru Manoel… and I can’t think of anywhere better to put it. This musical extravaganza will include such titans of the genre as Gianni tal’ Abjad, Doris minn Bormla, Challie is-Suldat and that doyen of spirtu pront… Wenzu bla Bajd.
That should really illustrate what Maltese culture is made of.
But please do not think that ‘classical’ music is off the schedule; oh no, far from it. We are informed that there will be a series of ‘classical’ concerts in village squares around Malta and Gozo, featuring our top musicians, including Autumn Moods, Clunking Metal and the Malta Rear Ends.
I understand that there will also be a restaging of that most beloved and professional of Maltese language musicals, Ġensna
I fear the organisers’ interpretation of ‘classical’ music might not be quite what many people think of as classical. Their main concert by the three B composers is unlikely to include Bach, Beethoven and Brahms and much more likely to encompass the works of Beyoncé, The Beatles, and Boy George.
There is also to be a mega-concert encompassing every single Malta entry in the Eurovision Song Farce… sorry, Contest, to take place in the open-topped White Elephant theatre at City Gate.
It will be a chance to hear again all those unlucky or just plain incompetent ditties, ranging from the very first Marija Maltija on through Mary Spiteri’s breakthrough ballad, Stunted brat, and also including Fabrizio Thingy’s unforgettable last placed ditty… whose name escapes me.
Truly… a night to remember or… not.
Also scheduled are ‘cultural’ musical activities every lunchtime, with a daily disco that will be set up in Żebbieħ Square. Spinning the platters will be world famous DJs such as Mario Shabum, Zee Zee Blast and Sharon D.
And that’s not all: We are also promised a display of precision pigeon blasting, by those brave fellows from FKNK… in Queen’s Square, Valletta. Well, it is culture… to some people.
Cinema is also high on the list of cultural events, with a protracted showing of all of the Carry On series; plus a season of Loony Tunes and Kung Fu movies. Local productions will take pride of place with a special showing of Anġli the Movie. Truly the crème de la crème of world cinema… coming to Żebbieħ.
Static exhibitions will include a showing by the late Gozitan artist Leli Formosa Gatt of his unique underwater watercolours… on the anniversary of his unfortunate drowning. There will also be an exhibition at Żebbieħ council office of a number of artefacts dredged up from the seas off Malta… These will include a selection of plastic bottles, pizza boxes, timpana trays, beer cans and a certain Leli Parascandalo… very symbolic.
Oh yes, I reckon Z18 will be everything we ever thought it would be. I can hardly wait.