We have all seen those stickers, usually on the rear windows of vehicles, or less often on car bumpers. They can be by degrees – amusing, bland, silly, pompous or downright nauseating.

Of the first mentioned, I particularly like one I spotted the other day on the back window of a rusting, beaten-up Toyota in St Julian’s. It read: “Capable of outrunning a high-speed pursuit”. Actually, I doubt it could outrun a bicycle.

In fact, humorous stickers are very much in the minority, more’s the pity, and invariably they appear on clapped-out bangers. But they can brighten up a routine journey, so here are a few more that elicited a chuckle from yours truly: “Stupidity is not a handicap: park elsewhere”; or “Discover wildlife: become a teacher.”

Or one I spotted the other day on the rear window of a Smart car driven by a youngish woman. Under the caricature of a lady carrying several shopping bags, the caption read: “So many shops – so little time.”

Rather more controversially, especially in the current climate of public opinion; here’s one on a top-of-the-range BMW. This sticker comprised a large finger pointing sideways, with the caption: “If you are heading home – Africa’s that way.” Whoops!

There is a sector of society that thinks it cool to slap religious stickers on their motors. We see an awful lot of: “Jesus saves” or “Jesus loves us all”. But I’m yet to see one extolling the healing or saving properties of Islam, Hinduism or Judaism... I wonder why?

Around election time, the openly partisan political labels start appearing. And you can often gauge the drivers’ political allegiances before reading the message.

For instance, I have not seen too many beaten-up jalopies trying to convince us to vote for the Nats; similarly Boomers and Range Rovers do not often carry labels in effusive praise of Jozeff’s lot. Having written that, I am now prepared for a plethora of missives from Labour-voting Ferrari drivers and Toyota-driving Nationalists.

But by far the most common stickers on display are the ones that read something like: “Baby on board”. Or even worse: “Precious little princess on board”. For goodness sake! What do these people think other drivers are going to do, target them rollerball fashion?

I rather like ‘Nothing can scare me anymore, I’m a maths teacher’

As an antidote to these vomit-inducing child-on-board stickers I recently spotted one reading: “Adults on board – we want to live too”. Along the same, yet different lines, I prefer the window sticker favoured by a friend with a two-year-old boy, which reads: “Irritating and precocious little brat with a bad attitude on board”. Actually, the lad is a sweet kid, so maybe his dad was just subjecting the boy to his own rather outré sense of humour.

The professions give rise to their fair share of amusing – and sometimes po-faced – stickers. I rather like: “Nothing can scare me anymore, I’m a maths teacher”.

There are several pointed soubriquets about estate agents – and yes I know it is not a profession, but what about: “I’m allowed to tell porkies, I’m an estate agent”. Could not agree more.

There is also quite a range of stickers devoted to the legal profession. I chuckled at the irony of: “Trust me, I’m a lawyer”. Yeah right. Here’s another: “Evidence? That’s just hearsay made flesh”.

Sport and recreation make up a substantial section. You must have seen stuff like: “Old golfers never die, they just lose their balls”.

And other much more risqué variations. A few years ago a crop of similar stickers emerged, with the theme of: “Firemen do it with their hose”. I confess that I found these somewhat unsubtle and – after a while – repetitive. But I did see one on the rear view of a Mini in London that tickled me, it read: “Ballerinas do it on pointe”.

And on that – I hope – balanced note, I’ll conclude. And before you ask, no, my car does not sport any rear-view adornments, unless you include bird droppings and plain old dirt.