Fear of ageing is as old as the hills. Even when we look into different mythologies and legends, we can see a reflection of people’s struggles with life’s great challenges such as old age, death and dying. Myths about the elixir of life and tales of the search for the fabled fountain of youth have been narrated for thousands of years. And we still narrate them today.
Yet people still struggle to accept the later stages of life. Even though we do not seek the elixir of immortality in elusive fountains, our western culture seems to have made it a point to fight ageing, specifically any signs in the body that may give away our age. Rates of cosmetic surgery have risen dramatically in western and non-western countries in the last two decades (American Society of Plastic Surgeons statistics 1992 - 2014, ISAPS global statistics) and for those who prefer an alternative to invasive surgical procedures, there is an infinite selection of fillers, creams and make-up techniques aiming to keep us looking and feeling young.
One of the reasons why people struggle with old age is that whereas youth is associated with the springtime of life, old age is naturally entwined with death. Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, studied the notion of death across cultures and maintained that the symbol of death is embedded in all the cultures he studied. Interestingly, Jung maintained that people’s awareness of mortality strongly impacts people’s view of life. This means that people would look at life in a completely different way had they not been conscious of their own mortality.
Yet the sands of time running out of life’s hourglass is not the only factor that instils fear of ageing, as people often dread expected losses. The experience of grief is a common suffering in old age, as in this phase of life people are more likely to experience the deaths of their loved ones and lifelong friends.
Such losses may be hard to bear also because losses experienced in old age may evoke earlier losses experienced in life, such as the passing away of a spouse. This stage in life also presents us with many non-death losses that are intrinsically part of ageing such as the loss of youth, physical capabilities and social roles.
Like other passages of life, old age means different things to different people. For the athlete, the fear of old age may centre around declining physical stamina. For others, it may encompass the loss of youth, beauty and independence.
Furthermore, old age has different meanings across cultures. In some tribal societies in Africa, as women grow older they become more authoritative. Similarly, in Native American cultures, the old are expected to pass on their knowledge to the young. Western cultures typically hold more negative views towards ageing.
Our culture teaches us to expect youth, health and happiness. It is common for people to deal with old age by creating the fantasy that ageing is something that happens to other people. People might avoid old age not only because it echoes their own mortality, but also that of their loved ones. Still, rebutting the final stages of life equates denying a season in the human life cycle, which blocks individuals from living authentically.
This is because endings are as much a part of life as new beginnings. It is possible for people to meet life endings with acceptance and with the belief that they can evolve in old age, as there is something meaningful to understand in the experience of ageing.
As a psychotherapist, I encounter elderly people who need to work on issues related to old age such as loneliness, sickness and grief. In my work I find that perceived life satisfaction plays a major role in how people deal with old age. People who are not gratified with life tend to find it harder to accept that they are nearing the end of their own life cycle. This resonates Eric Erickson’s theory of psychosocial development, as he maintains that in old age, people who can look back and are satisfied with their life achievements are likely to feel a sense of integrity. On the other hand, those who look back at life and experience many regrets tend to feel as if their life had been wasted – thus, they are more likely to experience bitterness and despair.
Yet the elderly can be supported to deal with regrets without getting lost in despair. When people manage to make meaning out of their years, they sometimes take a new lease of life. With the pressure of work, money and business taken off their shoulders, they may treasure opportunities for meaningful moments. This could mean investing in relationships with friends and relatives with greater intensity than they did in their previous years.