Where you around in 1989? Do you remember what it was like going to the cinema back then? There were no fancy theatres, just that one in Valletta, called Ġojjel, which, of course, was anything but a jewel.
It stank of men’s pee, its red leather seats were tattered, it was always full of couples making out noisily, there was always a furtive smoker at the back of the theatre, you never knew exactly what the gooey blob under your armrest was, and you could not even go and wash your hands after because the toilets were out of order.
In any case, if you were around, you would still probably have braved the kip to go and watch the movie of the year: Back to the Future II.
If you were a budding teenager, for the occasion, you would probably have worn a top with paddings and highlighted bermudas. At least I did. I think it was the first time I went to the cinema with friends so I reckon we must have watched the 2pm show.
Happily, some things never change, as that kunserva lady on telly tells us: my best friend then, whom I dragged along with me because I had a major crush on Michael J. Fox, is still my best friend now (although, for the record, I no longer have crushes on actors).
In any case, for the first half an hour of the movie, hero Marty McFly goes to the future. To be more precise, he time travels to October 21, 2015. Which was last Wednesday.
Back in the summer of 1989 we sat on those sticky cinema seats and we watched how the world would be in 2015: people talking to each other via screens, playing games consoles without a joystick, watching TV on eyeglass screens. And it was really too much to take in.
The world as we know it today was still round the corner. To put things into perspective, this was the year when the internet had just been invented, but no one knew about it. It was an age before e-mail even got its name. It was the year of The Satanic Verses controversy, the year of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Jon Bon Jovi was cool. And so was Gorbachev. And so was permed hair.
However, as I watched the movie again last week I realised how much the world imagined in 1989 resembles our own in strange and uncanny ways.
Luckily, some predictions were completely off track. No one goes around wearing a double-tie or gold raincoats. We don’t have talking jackets (thank God for that, as mine would be permanently screeching “You forgot me behind!”). And today’s clothes can’t yet blow-dry us when we get wet – although the fashion industry is said to be experimenting with weaving electronics into their fabrics for this purpose. (I still can’t see the point though, because how many times do we fall in a lake, clothes and all? But on second thoughts maybe they should recruit our Marco Cremona so he can come up with a device to collect and save that blow-dried water and win us a Nobel Prize.)
On some other predictions we are a trifle late, but we’ll be getting there eventually. Take flying cars. “Where we’re going, we don’t need roads...” Doc the inventor said, before he flew Marty to 2015. When I look out of the window I see the same old pigeon staring at me with eyes dazed by the Paola traffic pollution.
No, I don’t see flying cars. However, let’s not give up. A Google search confirms that they exist, but they’re just being tweaked. The company Terrafugia unveiled a prototype a few months ago, calling it Aeromobil 3.0. They are not yet on sale, and air traffic control plans have not been drafted. Still, perhaps our transport minister can schedule a visit to Woburn in the US to strike a deal on Aeromobil 3.9: the bendy version.
Also, we don’t yet throw rubbish in our car’s energy converter to power it. But there have been moves towards powering vehicles with waste. In the UK, in Bristol and Bath, they’ve started running buses powered by treated thrown-away food and sewage, and there are efforts elsewhere to convert agricultural waste into a petrol supplement; which means that maybe Sant’ Antnin in Marsascala might well be the new power station.
What about hoverboards? Hmm, man may have gone on the moon, but the flying skateboard is still elusive. There was also the ‘rejuvenation clinic Doc, exfoliated away the years with a 2015 facial, but so far we have to make do with Botox injections and chemical peels. Marty’s self-tying shoelaces are still not here but Nike is promising us to have them ready for sale by Christmas.
Other than that, Back to the Future II’s 2015 was full of plasma flat-screens everywhere: walls, billboards, blinds. And everyone was video calling, not phone calling. I distinctly remember my friend and I scoffing at that one. But if you’ll excuse me now, she’s calling me on Facetime.
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Twitter: @KrisChetcuti