As our long hot summer thankfully draws to an end, it is time to reflect on the books that helped us get by this rather unpleasant part of the year. Amid the media torrent of sad news coming from different troubled parts of the world, as well as the obnoxious garbage of hate contributions by online trolls and some pseudo journalists who spew venom under the guise of investigative journalism, reading a good book is like putting balm on a sore wound.
My favourite book this summer was The Dark Night of the Shed by Nick Page. Page is a freelance writer with a Christian background. His latest book is about “men, the midlife crisis, spirituality and sheds”. The concept of whether a midlife crisis really exists rages on, even if many believe that most men and women between the age of 35 and 55 do really go through physical and psychological changes that affect their midlife behaviour.
Page’s book is not a medical thesis. One can hardly deny that as a person approaches middle life most men face a new period of financial stability with fewer family responsibilities. This is a perfectly logical explanation as to why some feel that they need to reinvent themselves. In midlife it is hard not to confront one’s approaching mortality – whether one believes in the afterlife or not.
The Dark Night of the Shed is essentially a book written to help men understand the changes that they go through in midlife. But with its latent humour, I have no doubt that many women will find it interesting reading if for no other reason than to understand why the men in their lives often start behaving rather strangely.
What I found most interesting in Page’s book is the insight that it gives on why some middle-aged people behave in a way that could range from the amusing to the irritating. There are some very serious reflections on how some struggle with depression and low self-esteem in their midlife and the ways that men try to deal with this upheaval.
The frequent biblical references in this book are rather tiresome, but on the whole Page has a quick wit that he uses to good effect. This makes the book very readable.
With life expectancy getting longer, many psychologists argue that the symptoms of midlife crisis continue to linger for more years than was the case previously
Page uses a shed “as a metaphor for our lives”. At some stage many men want to take a new course in their lives by metaphorically “building a shed”. In real life this could mean entering a new romantic relationship – usually with a much-younger partner, buying a flash car, or even turning to substance abuse.
What I found most interesting are the strikingly honest reflections made by Page on the symptoms of midlife crisis that I have so often seen in people I know. One graphical description that Page gives us is: “In midlife we look ahead into the darkness and start to be fearful of how this voyage is going to turn out. We feel old, disregarded, scared and useless, as though somehow we’ve failed or we’re no longer. There is a horrible sense that the ship is slowly sinking. It looks OK on the outside, but inside we’re springing leaks all over the place.”
How many colleagues at our place of work or just friends we know had to struggle with depression because of these negative feelings? I would go further and ask: how many public figures in politics and business demonstrate strange behaviour as they go through turbulent phases in their midlife? Of course, I will not suggest any examples but I am sure that reading a book like this will set many of us reflecting on the behaviour of people we know. This book also helps us to understand our own midlife strange behaviour as we navigate the turbulent waters of midlife.
Although Page has some serious reflections on the onset of depression in many men in midlife and the effect this has on their families, the book is generally positive in its outlook. With life expectancy getting longer, many psychologists argue that the symptoms of midlife crisis continue to linger for more years than was the case previously.
The concept that our lives are split in two is not new at all. Dante wrote about midlife in the opening verses of La Divina Commedia. Reading the Dark Night of the Shed can certainly help some men make the best out of the second half of their lives.
johncassarwhite@yahoo.com