I see that the hunters have jumped on the “we’re good for the economy” bandwagon. The autumn season has just started and bang on cue we get the positive PR offensive. This time it has taken the delightful twist of showing us how hunting contributes millions of euros to the Maltese economy.

According to an economist/hunter, this bounty is pouring into the national coffers via the hunters because they pay for licence and insurance fees, cartridges and paraphernalia.

We read about the costs of dog food (three dogs per hunter), renting land and clothes (I suppose this refers to the English squire ensemble featured in the hunting referendum billboards).

I don’t know if we are supposed to feel deeply appreciative for the hunters’ munificence but doesn’t every hobby involve expenditure and a contribution to the economy? And with less deleterious consequences for sustainability and biodiversity?

Don’t cat and rabbit breeders contribute to the economy? If we’re going to factor in the cost of animal feed, then I suppose horse owners win over the hunters and their outlay on Scooby snacks.

And they probably spend loads on stables and insurance too. And their hobby doesn’t result in the destruction of animals. More to the point – if hunters are going to start slapping their alleged economic clout around, we should remember that there are many other activities which would presumably pour even greater millions into the economy and yet we don’t encourage them. Prostitution, drug-dealing, people smuggling, organ trafficking – great earners I’m sure. Just not that great for everybody else.

• I’ve developed a new coping strategy for those endless hours spent idling away in traffic. Actually I’m using an alternative coping mechanism to that where I used to fantasise about kidnapping Transport Minister Joe Mizzi, tying him to my passenger seat and forcing him to spend a day negotiating the traffic chaos which I encounter on a daily basis.

Even if he had to be suitably fortified with constantly replenished iced drinks and snacks, I am sure that at the end of the day, he would totter out of the car as a gibbering wreck.

Anyway, I’ve moved on from the Mizzi thing to trying to imagine what it must be like to be one of the government wonks who dream up insane solutions to allievate traffic problems.

You know – those anonymous, probably well-paid people who spring out of bed and have these brainstorming sessions, after which they dump their hare-brained ‘out of the box’ ideas into a White Paper to cause havoc in the life of the unsuspecting public.

Successive administrations have encouraged a building frenzy without a thought for the resultant impact on road and services infrastructure

I’m referring to the recently published suggestions to allievate traffic. The latest offering by our unknown bright sparks is to have children who attend State schools go to school earlier than they do now.

So, in a move to free up our roads, the powers-that-be will wrest children from their bed and have them carted off to largely empty schools where they can greet the new day with irate, bleary-eyed supervisors who have also missed out on their sleep and a decent breakfast.

Apparently, this should go a long way to ensuring congestion-free roads. It’s all the children’s fault and the traffic jams have absolutely nothing to do with (a) uncoordinated building works round the island (b) selective enforcement of traffic regulations (not switching on lights in a tunnel means you have to pay full whack but a double-parked warden obstructing traffic is fine) (c) converting multiple lane roads into single lane traffic ways (we’re talking about that bus lane, Mr Mizzi) (d) public transport which is not up to scratch or (e) the fact that the country’s infrastructure has been rendered unsuitable and unsafe for all means of transport except the car.

It shouldn’t need to be said but we seem to be suffering from a common sense deficit, so I’ll spell it out. Lugging children out of bed in the pre-dawn hours and depositing them at school at the break of day is a terrible idea for many reasons.

It necessitates earlier bed times, difficult wake-up routines, dispatching children to a full day at school without a smidgeon of breakfast and finding enough supervisors to brave hordes of sleepy children at ungodly hours. Of course it fits in with today’s mindset of outsourcing everything to do with children to outsiders – never spend an extra minute with your offspring barring the absolutely necessary 15-minute slot packaged as quality time.

At this rate, the authorities may well suggest (and find support for) packing children off to boarding school and looking in on them from time to time – preferably by means of an overhead drone.

That would free up the roads by coralling the kid culprits out of the way. It may even go down well with the minibus and coach operators who really call the shots when it comes to laying down route timetables, as they can squeeze in another dozen trips to political party coffee mornings (creating more jams on the way).

I still hold out some hope that whoever is in charge of formulating policy will eventually see the light and realise that a comprehensive, nationwide solution is needed to allievate our traffic congestion.

This would necessarily involve a more efficient public transport system and also upgrading the infrastructure to make it possible to use alternative methods of transport. Unfortunately it looks as if it is already too late for such changes.

For too many years now, successive administrations have encouraged a building frenzy without a thought for the resultant impact on road and services infrastructure.

We are now reaping the results and facing gridlock. Their solution? Blame it on (school -age) children and penalise them.

cl.bon@nextgen.net.mt

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