Just in case your Cockney rhyming slang isn’t up to it, or your English sense of humour not on a par with Premier Joseph Muscat’s, a pork pie is a lie and when someone is characterised as an utterer of porkies, well, you don’t need me to do the math for you, now do you?
So, according to Premier Muscat, the American University of Malta is the Labour Government’s present to the South and is a project that respects civil society in that the divvying-up of the buildings between Żonqor Point and Number One Dock in Cospicua respects the concerns expressed by the various components of said civil society in respect of the project in question.
There are so many parliamentary inexactitudes in Premier Muscat’s position that I hardly know where to start.
Describing something as a PI, incidentally, is a polite way of pointing out that the way something is presented to all and sundry by an honourable member of the House is not exactly what he would like us to believe it is.
PI no. 1: that the “American” University of Malta is in some way American, rather than about as “American” as a felafel roll served up by a grease-ball in some dive in Tripoli. Think “mom” and “apple pie” and go for the complete antithesis of that and then see if the image that I’ve just conjured up for you fits.
Labour’s mindset has always been, from the days of Mintoff, that any and all criticism of their policies is traitorous treachery
PI no. 2: that the project can be called a “university”, while being an entity without any research facilities, without a shred of an academic record as well as without an academic staff. No doubt, Martin Scicluna, in between writing learned disquisitions about religious issues of less than impelling urgency, will have no qualms about allowing the moniker to be adopted.
PI no. 3: that the project will in some way benefit the South, beyond providing a few jobs for ancillary staff.
The media gobbled up, without even batting an eyelid, the puffery put out by Premier Muscat’s minions about how it was essential to site the thing in the “South” (all four kilometres away from the real university, as the crow flies, though Joe Mizzi’s incompetence makes it seem a continent away due to the length of time it takes to get there) because of the low numbers of southerners who attend the real university. Apart from the possibility that Premier Muscat’s buddies behind this project might make a few token places available, the number of southerners (!) who will be attending this “university” (degree-factory) will be countable on the fingers of the left hand of a left-sided amputee.
PI no. 4: that the denizens of the South, that is, the ones who trooped obediently out to cheer Premier Joseph when, last week, he descended among them to announce that he will be taking up buildings of immense historic significance and giving them to his partners in this venture, have reason to be chuffed no end that there are going to be hundreds of foreign students in their midst.
Given that the socio-economic make-up of “the South” is such as to make it a more fertile environment for antipathy towards people who wear the burkas or are generally of a Middle-Eastern mien, it remains to be seen how ecstatic the people are going to be when the student body assembles itself.
PI no. 5: and this is the real big one: that the South (let’s let that lie stand, that there is a south and a north in a country that is about 15 kilometres long) has been neglected and allowed to rot and it had to be Premier Joseph to charge in on an Arab stallion to rescue it.
For heaven’s sake, the very site that he’s chosen to give, free, gratis and for nothing, to his good buddies was rendered a prime site by no-one other than the Nationalists in government.
Likewise, Vittoriosa Waterfront and countless other projects: I am old enough to remember the ghetto mentality that reigned supreme when Dom Mintoff promoted it, for nefarious reasons not unconnected with his need to keep the country artificially divided.
PI no. 6: in case you need another entry in the catalogue of porkies, keep in mind that Żonqor Point is still going to be raped, simply because Premier Muscat has decreed that this will be the case.
So there we have it, a “university” that is not a university, that we don’t need, being crow-barred into an area that does not need it, won’t get anything out of it and won’t welcome it when push comes to shove, all in the name of the glorification of Premier Muscat.
This is not a million miles away, both figuratively and literally, from the “new” power station, powered by fuel from a floating bomb, being brought into play late, if at all, when it is clearly not required, just because Premier Muscat and his side-kick, Fit For Purpose (Not) Shame On You, Konrad Husband of Sai Mizzi Liang, want it.
I wonder how long it will take for Minister Owen Bonnici to prod his tame law-writer into doing something to earn his 30 pieces of silver by rendering all that I’ve written a heinous crime against the national interest.
Labour’s mindset has always been, from the days of Mintoff, that any and all criticism of their policies is traitorous treachery and I would be less than astounded if the Criminal Code is amended to include this sort of thing.
After all, representatives of our government should not find it too hard, I suspect, to wend their merry way to North Korea perhaps to celebrate all that is great in that fabulous land, where dissent is unknown and the Great Leader is practically perfect in all that he does.
All someone like Alex Sciberras Trigona would need to do to do is to enquire nicely (he’s done it before) while he’s there and he’ll be given a perfectly packaged parcel of means and methods to shut people like me up.
On to happier and more pleasant subjects, then, before I’m cast into the outer darkness and told to shut up, terminally.
On Friday, we had a meal in Nadur over which a veil will be drawn: suffice it to say that it was one of the worst experiences on the culinary front in Gozo that we’ve had for a long time. The bunny is overweight not because it eats too well, that’s for sure, and that’s the only hint as to which quaint restaurant we were at that you’re getting.
Thankfully, we had a decent meal at Tatita, in San Lawrenz, on Saturday.
We also got a very acceptable pizza on Sunday night at Ta’ Kenuna, in Nadur with a fabulous view thrown in for free.
If you would like a good pizza while in Valletta, finally (it just happened that we were out four evenings in a row, which is not at all normal) go to Manderaggio, overlooking Marsamxett.
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