A year ago or so, a new recruit at the office came up to me after the morning meeting and asked whether I could pass on some of the notes I had taken about a certain story we were discussing.

“Ahem,” I said, as I coughed the polite Maltese xerqa and meekly flicked open my notepad. No notes, no scribbles, no shorthand but reams and reams of love-me-not flowers of all shapes.

I am Kristina Chetcuti and I’ve got doodlitis. When someone is speaking, the way I memorise and process what they are saying is by drawing meaningless nothings on a piece of paper in front of me.

My life, in fact, can be captured in doodle phases. I’ve gone through stages of doodling names: mine, Michael J. Fox’s, Colin Firth’s. Phases of nature doodles: flowers, poppies, fat clouds, fat cats in the shape of a number eight, butterflies, trees, fat cats with pointy ears.

Sometimes I’ve drawn logos: CNN (during the Gulf War), Speedo (when I was obsessed with swimming training), WWF (when I turned vegetarian), the Maduma (okay, I’m adding this last one to win some brownie points with the Significant Other).

There were also lengthy periods of hearts, hearts with arrows, broken hearts, lightening bolts, igloos, trees, stick girls with big hair, the moon and swings hanging from the moon.

Each of my doodles has a life span of three to six months and then it’s shelved forever. According to the British Institute of Graphologists, these mindless drawings reveal volumes about our personality and mood. Ruth Rostron, the institute’s professional handwriting analyst, said: “We’re usually only half-conscious of what we’re drawing – which means our inner preoccupations surface on paper.”

An in-depth analysis shows that 90 per cent of us are doodlers. The only ones who do not draw on their notepads are the ones who’d win awards for being ultra-organised

Hmm. These last couple of months I’ve been doodling apples. What does that mean, I wonder? Does it mean I am in search of the forbidden fruit? Am I dreaming of going to New York? Have I been made to sit and watch Snow White far too many times? Do I have a yearning for more Apple gadgets? I am looking up the meaning as I write and in the meantime I’ve done a quick straw poll among my colleagues in the newsroom.

An in-depth analysis à la James Debono shows that 90 per cent of us are doodlers. The only ones who do not draw on their notepads are the ones who’d win awards for being ultra-organised (um, or ever-so-slightly OCD-ish) or else have the gift of multitasking. The ones who don’t, all gave me a curt answer: “I don’t doodle: I am focused”.

The doodlers, on the other hand, went all smiley and happy and la-di-la-di as they described their doodles and showed me evidence of their wares.

So what do they doodle?

“I draw boxes which I split into more boxes and split again into more boxes until all you see is a mass of ink.”

“I draw mostly houses on hills with lakes and birds with a sunset.”

“The eight-pointed cross, different versions, different shades.”

“Eyes, faces, flowers and circular patterns.”

“Mostly flowers, girls’ faces, boxes, triangles and arrows and swirly things.”

“Sometimes hearts and stars, which I enjoy drawing in one move, without lifting the pen.”

“I doodle random words which I then realise I would have heard while on the phone.”

“Cubes, arrows, petals and flowers.”

“Military planes.”

“My doodles are complex works of brain art... circles, lines, shapes all drawn in complex patterns that shift between symmetrical designs broken by irrational interjections.”

“I like drawing fictitious maps.”

Dear reader, if you match the doodles to the journalist, you win a year’s subscription to Times of Malta (don’t worry editor, no one will guess Massa’s and Sansone’s) and a nice print of the oil-on-canvas of a very strict Mabel Strickland.

Meanwhile, if you happen to be a doodler, you must be anxiously wondering what your drawings say about your psychological profile. Here is a rough paraphrased idea, courtesy of the Graphology Institute:

Faces: what you draw reflects your mood;

Chess board: you’re patient;

Flowers: you’re an amiable, family-centric person;

Butterflies: Flighty and romantic but you don’t want to be tied down;

Stairs: ambition;

Houses: need for security;

Planes and boats: a desire to escape;

Spider’s web: a feeling of being trapped;

Your name or initials: you enjoy being the centre of attention;

Stars: lots of little stars indicate optimism;

Boxes: you want control of a situation;

Elephants: you are cheerful and a bit mischievous;

Arrows: you are ambitious and highly driven;

Circles: a need to find unity and peace;

Clouds: you’re a free-spirit daydreamer;

Dots: you’re anxious;

What about your apples, you’re probably asking? Well. If you’re doodling apples, it means… you’re often hungry. Mur obsor ħej!

krischetcuti@gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti