I did it! I survived the first year of motherhood… and this is what I’ve learnt.

Priorities

Pairing babies’ socks is not about to win any awards for coming first in the priorities list; there are way too many other, more important (or possibly less important, but more fun) things to be done throughout the course of the day. However, having a drawer full of mismatched socks running around the place isn’t quite ideal either, so how does one strike a happy medium?

In my case, I had been gifted a very pretty box with a hinged lid and it soon became my ‘sock box’. Yes, socks were dumped there, but they were contained and it was easy to find two matching socks. Of course, you can always just grab any two socks and not give two hoots about whether they match or not because ultimately all socks do the same job. The hinged lid was a bonus because it meant that I didn’t have to worry about my son getting hold of it and chewing on it. Unlike the shoe box, cereal box and most other things that are made of paper.

Carrying comfort

Babies get heavy pretty quickly, so take the opportunity to carry them around when they’re little and avoid taking out any strollers. A sling or baby carrier is a great investment; apart from the apparent good that it does to ‘wear your baby’, what I’m talking about is the convenience of it.

There will be plenty of time to lug a stroller around when your baby starts piling on the (good) pounds and carrying him will set both your arms and back on fire.

Until then, place your little bundle in a baby carrier and enjoy the ‘freedom’ of movement. They’re also ideal for using indoors. Although it might feel strange at first, when you need to get stuff done and baby’s just not having any of it, pop him in the harness so that he feels you close which will help soothe him. You can get many things done in this way, from working at your computer to folding laundry. In retrospect, I didn’t make the most of my baby carrier and could have done a lot more with it.

Do what works best for you and your family set-up, because the bottom line is that all babies are different

Go offline

Treat ‘mummy groups’ on Facebook and online fora as you would wasabi – fine in small doses but you wouldn’t go spreading it on your toast for breakfast now, would you?

New mothers are sponges for information; we want to know what to do when our baby’s belly button falls off, what the colour of their poo should be on a weekly basis and how to get them to sleep through the night from as early as possible.

There are answers for some things, but mostly there are opinions. And, when you ask a question online you will always find plenty of people who are willing to share their opinion and advice. Although these may come from the most well-meant of intentions, the number of varying responses that often arise can end up being very overwhelming and, ultimately, unhelpful.

Mothers are blessed with instinct and, although we tend to revel in self-doubt and anxiety, that instinct is what has been with you throughout the nine months or so when your baby was growing inside you. That instinct knows your baby so take the time to listen to it and act according to what it tells you. Mummy groups are definitely not the place to upload photos of your baby’s spreading rash asking other new mothers whether they think it looks bad. Medical queries should be directed to your GP or paediatrician.

Go online, again

On the other hand, Facebook groups where people upload their second-hand baby items to sell or give should not be brushed aside. All babies receive plenty of clothes and toys, some of which end up never even being used for some reason or other (typically it’s because babies grow very quickly and most of them have a wardrobe that rivals Kim Kardashian’s); furthermore, most baby clothes are only worn a handful of times, so they’re still in new condition. Malta tends to lag behind in its willingness to buy second-hand items, possibly due to social peer pressure, but there really is nothing to feel embarrassed about. Buying second-hand doesn’t mean that you cannot afford to or don’t want to buy new, you’re just thrifty and financially aware, knowing that your hard-earned money can be put to better use elsewhere.

A helping hand

In fact, a ‘luxury’ that I would recommend to all new mothers is to engage household help. Get someone in for a few hours a week to wash the floor/clean the bathroom/iron the clothes. You decide what you need help with the most, but it’s worth paying for it.

A new baby takes up so much time and energy that attempting to undertake the same amount of household responsibilities that you did pre-baby is unwise (and potentially unhealthy).

And for those soon-to-be mothers who are being asked ‘is there anything that I can do to help – say yes! Ask people to prepare you a meal that you can freeze and then heat up at a moment’s notice.

This again boils down to the simple fact that babies don’t leave you with much time to do things, so having to cook can seem very extra, and thinking of what to cook even more so.

In this way, if you have a few home-cooked, ready-made meals in your freezer, you’re going to have a nutritious dinner that is ready within a couple of minutes.