Last month, British mother Rebecca Minnock walked into a police station with her son, Ethan, and gave herself up after two weeks on the run. She had fled with Ethan after losing a bitter custody battle with her ex-partner, Roger Williams.
A court had recently given Williams full custody of Ethan; Minnock was to be allowed only supervised access, despite the fact that Ethan, who is three, had lived with his mother since 2013. The judge decided that she had caused her child ‘emotional harm’, following her refusal to allow him to see his father. She had also made accusations against the father, which the judge found to be untrue.
Her actions were described by the judge as a, “contemptuous denial of the rights of the child and of the father”. He went on: “Nature, case law and common sense demand that courts recognise the importance of both parents having a relationship with Ethan….. You are also well aware of the injustice that is being occasioned to Roger Williams, Ethan’s father.”
The case has once again highlighted the difficulties that fathers can find themselves in following a separation if mothers do not allow them access to their children. The campaign organisation Fathers4Justice says that, in the UK, nearly one in three children live without a father and one out of four don’t consider their father to be part of the family. Fathers are more than three times more likely to die after a separation than mothers; suicide is now the biggest killer of men under 50; and generally speaking, women are much more likely to be given custody than men during divorce cases.
In Malta, article 56(1) of the Civil Code states: “On separation being pronounced, the court shall also direct to which of the spouses custody of the children shall be entrusted...”
Fathers4Justice, however, want automatic parental responsibility for fathers and mothers and a legal presumption of 50/50 shared parenting and child support. To that end, on Fathers’ Day, campaigner Simon Anderton from Newcastle occupied the iconic Tyne Bridge and unfurled a huge banner saying “Happy Fatherless Day”.
A spokesman for Anderton, Ray Barry, said: “I work in family courts every week supporting separated parents. Nothing much has changed in the last decade; although fathers may be offered contact more often, the quality and frequency is often pitiful…. the current system is adversarial.”
Women might make up a litany of excuses as to why they can’t arrange a meeting; some even resort to accusations of abuse to prevent fathers from seeing their children.
Although fathers may be offered contact more often, the quality and frequency is often pitiful
And, while Barry was speaking about the UK, the situation is often mirrored in Malta. In an earlier interview, human rights lawyer Therese Comodini Cachia told this newspaper that due to the structure of Maltese society, “it was more likely that the mother would be granted custody since it was usually the father who kept on working when children were born and, therefore, had less time to spend with the children”.
Where mothers are restrictive with access, children can suffer; equally, there’s clear evidence that when children have strong bonds with their father, they do better.
Miriam Stoppard wrote in the Daily Mirror that “this is particularly true if the father feels involved and proud and makes a point of giving quality, one-on-one time”.
It’s also hard on fathers. Desperate letters litter the message boards of fathers’ groups from dads who find themselves unable to see their children; the depression, stress and emotional torment of difficult custody arrangement are all too clear to see.
For fathers struggling with this situation, there is help at hand. The pressure group Mensrightsmalta has a Facebook page with links and advice. There are also mediation services offered free of charge by the government; it’s worth getting good legal advice and moving rapidly to mediation before a difficult situation turns into one where a father loses contact with his child. Perhaps most importantly, fathers need to ensure that they have a good support group about them so that they don’t succumb to depression and despair.
There are signs that the Maltese judiciary is taking the issue seriously, with a woman jailed in 2012 for preventing a father access to their son.
Ethan Minnock is now back with his father, and his mother is likely to face incarceration for her intransigence in preventing access. It’s a story with no winners, least of all Ethan, but one that might bring a glimmer of hope to fathers fighting to see their children.