So Malta is to become Hollywood in the Mediterranean... or should that be Mollywood. Apparently our newfound bosom friends, the Chinese – whose munificence seems to know no bounds – are determined to turn this little rock into the entertainment capital of the world and home from home for a myriad of stars.

Now I’m not sure if that means universal stars or merely those from the land of the rising yuan. But whichever it is it seems to me we had better be prepared to become a major, major player in the global movie industry. And I see this as perfectly logical, well of course it is.

The modern Chinese seem to have a penchant for movies on the grand scale, blockbusters plus! So what better place to come to make them than in the vast, uninhabited expanses of the Maltese islands... ahem.

To some people it may seem totally illogical to film some zillion-dollar movie featuring the Gobi desert in somewhere like little old Malta. But hang on a minute; these days, movie-makers don’t need extensive sets and huge crews. They use devices such as CGI (computer generated images) and blue or green screen backgrounds, over which they can project whatever scenery they want.

Some years back a businessman from New Zealand, I believe he was, put out feelers with the then Mediterranean Film Studios down at Rinella, to shoot a multi-million-dollar TV series, which would portray the Bible from Genesis right through to Revelations. And he intended filming the whole thing in just one single multiple set, to be constructed in the old military camp up at Selmun. No, I’m not joking: the guy turned up to clinch the deal, accompanied by a battery of lawyers and an optimism, which was touching if somewhat misplaced.

Suffice it say the shoot never got off the ground – and I’ve no idea what happened to the Antipodean entrepreneur. Maybe he’s languishing in some North Island funny farm. Pity, it was a nice – if crazy – notion.

Let’s speculate a little on just what could – and could not – be shot here in the coming years

Instead we have what’s been called the Malta-China Film Industry Cooperation Agreement. Wow! And all day I have been trying to get my head around the enormous implications of this.

So let’s speculate a little on just what could – and could not – be shot here in the coming years. Frankly I think the sky’s the limit. If in the past we have built the port of Genoa, the Coloseum in Rome, Sweethaven (Popeye Village), we can build anything. It might be a slight reach to construct a life-size facsimile of the city of Shanghai or the Great Wall, but that’s where CGI comes in.

And again, for a movie set on the vast plains of Mongolia or eastern China, we might be pushed to cobble together a full-size version... even if we did bulldoze Paceville, Swieqi and St Andrew’s. So again... CGI it is.

I have to admit that, apart from the likes of Jackie Chan, Michelle Yeoh, the splendidly named Chow Yun Fat and the director Ang Lee, I am not at all acquainted with the megastars of the Chinese film industry, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t any. In a country of that size there just has to be vast market for home-grown films and movie stars.

This pristine new cooperation agreement could also be a boon to local employment. Granted, our actors and extras would be struggling to fit neatly into any movie set in China and featuring just ethnic Orientals. But if the film-makers could be persuaded to set their sights away from their native shores and home in on say Africa, featuring native-born Africans – we can sure help with extras casting in that instance.

So yes, I look forward with optimism to the fruits of this all new cooperation agreement being harvested. But, like so many other grandiose schemes trumpeted by our politicians, of both parties... Smart City et al, I’ll believe them the moment the first Chinese director to shoot here, yells “Xingwei!” (I’m told that’s Mandarin for ‘action’) prior to scene one, take one.