When it comes to making football predictions, my track record speaks for itself. And what it says, quite emphatically, is don’t listen to a word I say.

Looking back over the years there is little, if anything, I have failed to predict incorrectly: League titles, relegation battles, FA Cups, European tournaments and even the occasional World Cup.

My inability to correctly predict the outcome of sporting events large and small has become part of folklore. People even write to me asking me to predict one thing so that the other will happen. Frequently.

But while I am happy to eat humble pie when the outcome calls for it (as it frequently does), these regular failures make the occasional successes all the sweeter and more memorable. And I am having one of those moments right now.

In August last year I predicted the top four of the Premier League would finish Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester United. In that order. And lo and behold, I was spot on.

Fair enough, it wasn’t that hard to pick the top four – for the most part it picks itself these days. And with Liverpool dealing with life after Luis Suarez it was highly unlikely they would be able to gatecrash the party for the second season in a row.

Even so, getting them in exactly the right order is not something to be sneezed at. At least not for me.

Of course, at the other end of the table, normal service was resumed. My three for the drop were Burnley, West Bromwich Albion and Crystal Palace. While Burnley stuck to their side of the bargain, the other two obviously didn’t get my memo.

Then again, in my defence, they both changed managers mid-season and I don’t think I would have put either down for the drop if Tony Pulis and Alan Pardew had been in charge from the word go.

All in all, I’m pretty happy with my work on this one. Next season I may even put my money where my keyboard is and have a little bit of a wager on my own prediction.

It’s early days, but my mostly unreliable crystal ball seems to be suggesting an Arsenal title triumph in 2016…

Meanwhile, as my next column comes out the day after the Champions League final, I have to squeeze in my final prediction of the season today. And I’m going for Juventus to pull off a shock.

I sense a little bit of overconfidence in the Barcelona camp and you can never write off Italians when it comes to nicking a goal and shutting up shop.

Missing the trick

It doesn’t take long does it?

Just a week after getting promoted to the Premier League, the first signs that Bournemouth are letting their new status go to their heads are beginning to emerge.

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I like the way this particular club has gone about reaching the promised land: no massive spending, faith in a young English manager and an exciting brand of football.

I had high hopes Bournemouth would be a breath of fresh air, a club that would show everyone else there is an alternative way of getting to the top and a better way of approaching things when you do.

My final prediction of the season: Juventus to pull off a shock

Sadly, just a couple of weeks later and delusions of grandeur are starting to creep in.

With their fans still nursing a hang­over from their promotion party, the club announced they are raising their average season ticket price by £87 (€121) for next season.

Chairman Jeff Mostyn defended this on the basis of the limited capacity (the club only accepts 7,000 season ticket holders) and the fact that fans will now be paying to watch international superstars.

But was it really necessary?

Simple mathematics tells you that this increase in price will generate a little over £600,000 (€834,600) extra for Bournemouth. However, globally, promotion to the Premier League is expected to earn the club £120 million (€166m).

The cash generated by the £87 increase is a drop in the ocean in comparison to the revenue the club will be generating from television, sponsorship, prize money and all the other trappings that goes with life in the big league.

I can’t help but feel they have missed a trick here, that they had a golden opportunity to seize the moral high ground and freeze tickets prices for next season. Maybe they could even have thought about going a step further and dropping prices as a way of rewarding the fans who stood by them during the recent dark days of near bankruptcy and life in League Two.

Instead, Bournemouth have signed up to the standard Premier League philosophy: make sure you bleed your loyal fan base dry at every available opportunity in every way possible.

Always space for a hero

When Jonas Gutierrez scored Newcastle United’s second goal last Sunday, you couldn’t help think it was a perfect end to the season for the lad.

The Argentinean only returned to first team action in March after a long battle against testicular cancer and for him to score the goal that all but ensured his team stay in the Premiership was a bit of a fairy tale.

The player’s contract is up next month and it will be interesting to see if the 31-year-old gets a new one from the club. Part of me thinks that should be a decision taken purely on football grounds but a bigger part of me feels that there should be some room in football for a bit of sentimentality every now and then.

Big Sam still the man

There is never an easy way for a club and its manager to part company. But credit to West Ham United and Sam Allardyce for at least being civil about the whole thing.

Most people knew that Big Sam’s tenure at Upton Park was coming to an end so it didn’t really come as a major surprise when he officially departed. But the club left it until after the last game of the season to make the announcement and did so in a dignified and respectful way.

Have we now seen the last of Allardyce in the top flight? Not on your life. He’s definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, and there were large sections of the West Ham faithful who didn’t like him, but he does exactly what is expected of him.

Get West Ham promoted to the Premiership: check. Keep them up in their first season back: check. Make an improvement on their points total in their second season: check. Those are the objectives he was tasked with achieving and that is precisely what he delivered.

And that is why there will always be demand for managers like Allardyce in the Premiership. He doesn’t fool about with the glitz and glamour, he makes sure he achieves his goals.

Allardyce has said he intends to take an extended break from the game, which may genuinely be his intention at this point.

But you can bet your bottom dollar that, if he is still sitting at home twiddling his fingers come Christmas, one club or another will be on their knees begging him to come and save their bacon.

Managers like Allardyce and Pulis will never get the glamour jobs, but they will get the job done. And there is always place in football for people like that.

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade