Acne may not only leave scars but affect teenagers psychologically, especially as regards self-esteem. Claire Caruana learns from psychotherapist Mariella Dimech how important it is for parents to understand and communicate with their children if they have acne problems.

The teenage years are very often considered the toughest in a person’s life. The child experiences a number of physical changes, as well as social and psychological ones. Emotions are heightened during this time and the problem of acne makes this phase even harder, says psychotherapist Mariella Dimech.

The changes teenagers go through may make them very egocentric and focused on their image, maintains Dimech.

“At this time, they think a lot about their own needs. They do not have the capability, for instance, to empathise. This is the norm and because they are so egocentric, they give a lot of importance to their image.

“For this reason, they tend to believe everybody will give a lot of attention to whatever can be seen on their face, which is definitely not the case. However, a teen with acne may see it as a disastrous situation.”

Dimech explains this leads to teenagers becoming more self-conscious. There is also the tendency among them to believe that those around them are going to be speaking about them in a negative way.

Helping your children deal with acne can be hard, yet parents should not shy away from tackling the issue.

“In order to help, don’t minimise the problem. Don’t downplay it and don’t act like having a few pimples is insignificant. It’s something very important.

“Parents need to understand that the child’s self-esteem is going to be affected. Even though they might not talk about it and might say that they don’t care. Acknowledge the fact that there’s a problem and address it.

“Sometimes most parents worry about exams and their child’s future, and forget that this is a really critical issue too.”

Dimech also says that most teenagers lack good hygiene, making the problem even worse.

“Teenagers and hygiene do not go hand in hand most of the time. But even in cases were hygiene is lacking, they are probably still very aware of the situation,” she says.

Both positive and negative experiences are necessary at this phase in live, insists Dimech. Negative experiences help teenagers realise that certain issues will not destroy them but make them even stronger.

Properly tackling the issue is fundamental, yet chances are most teenagers will refuse the help offered and here is where having a good relationship with the teenager comes in handy.

“Everything depends a lot on the relationship you have with your teenage son or daughter. The approach you take is also relevant. If the teenager does not want help from a parent, let them know there may be other persons, such as dermatologists or psychotherapists, who may help them.

“The worst thing you can do is tell them they look terrible and they need to do something about the situation as soon as possible. You need to empathise and not sympathise. Do not tell the teenager something is wrong with them,” Dimech says, adding that this will only make things worse.

Parents need to understand that the child’s self-esteem is going to be affected. Acknowledge the fact that there’s a problem and address it

Teenagers with acne may be left with long-term repercussions and dealing with such issues depends mainly on the severity of the problem and the teenager’s personality.

“People are very capable of compensating. For instance, if I have acne, and I’m a teenager, but I’m very outgoing, I’m funny, I’m very good in sports, I’m very popular, I can compensate, I can overcome the discomfort I’m feeling because of acne.

“However, if I am already a shy person, I’m insecure or I have certain things I don’t like about myself, the acne will be the cherry on the cake.

“You have to give a lot of importance to the personality traits. This is why parents need to know their children well.”

“The biggest trick when raising teenagers is how you’re going to communicate with them. You need to get them to change negative behaviour, learn good attitudes and build up self-esteem and a good personality.

“I think the word ‘self-esteem’ tends to be used too easily. At the end of the day, in this very delicate phase, it determines how much teenagers will believe in themselves later in life, the types of relationships they form, the careers they choose and how they focus and study.

“When you look at our society and what teenagers are surrounded with, such as alcohol, drugs, they can easily turn to such things to mask the problem. The issue needs to be taken very seriously because it can escalate easily.”

Dimech believes children’s daily lives have become too hectic and very often, in an attempt to present them with as many opportunities as possible, little time is being spent tackling emotional and psychological issues.

“Life for children, before they even become teenagers, is already too fast. They come home, they have ballet, then music lessons, then they have football... one thing after the other. Sometimes they don’t have time to process what’s going on and just be.

“You need to allocate time to catch up and be aware of what the children are feeling. The whole system is this way. There are a lot of opportunities but not too much time on processing all that is going on,” she emphasises.

“So when you have a situation of acne, and all this is going on in life, the teenagers struggle with coming to terms with the effect this might be having on their life and they then fail to address it effectively.”

Slowing down and knowing the children before they enter into this sensitive yet crucial phase in their life will yield benefits which will go well beyond the teenage years.