When I read the letter recently in Times of Malta, I thought: The writer is either blessed with incredible powers of innovation and/or perception or... he – for it was a he – is a few ponies short of a hamburger joint.

His missive put forward the idea of using our roundabouts to show off various iconic pieces of Maltese heritage: old buses, karrozzini, dgħajjes and so forth...

Obviously he had dismissed the exigencies of weather, wear and tear and humidity, which would make this somewhat futile – but then I thought: ignoring that insurmountable fact, why stop there?

Why not go the whole hog and parade our traditions on most or even every roundabout in Malta and Gozo?

I mean, it’s not as if our wonderful driving isn’t already totally resistant to the multifarious distractions already present on or around our highways: stuff like enormous billboards, kamikaze cyclists, jay-walking pedestrians and the insistent ringing of our mobile phones.

But let’s concentrate on roundabout divertissements; why not encumber every single one with some aspect of our culture?

For instance... what could be more Maltese than an old lady making lace. I happen to know of one, Sunta... a 93-year-old great-grandmother from Għajnsielem – bless her – who would be only to delighted to squat on some adjacent traffic island and twiddle away with her bobbins all day long. Just give her a kind word and the cost of a few bottles of Gozitan screech, she’d be delighted to feel she’s adding to our rich and multifarious heritage.

Moving swiftly on: One unmistakeably Maltese structure that would look utterly lovely on a roundabout is a hunter’s hide.

Populate it with a few bird-blasters on a round-the-clock roster – and you’ve got another very typical highway attraction. Just a note of caution here. Since the hunters occupying the hide would have free licence to fire away at anything with wings passing overhead it would be prudent to site this one well away from Malta International Airport... for safety reasons. It simply wouldn’t look good if a Boeing 747 happened to br brought down by ‘friendly’ fire.

One unmistakeably Maltese structure that would look utterly lovely on a roundabout is a hunter’s hide

Another very Maltese idea would be to garnish a roundabout with two politicians – from opposing parties, naturally – arguing away, as is their wont. This could hardly be construed as a distraction to traffic, since most drivers would simply do what the rest of us do – that is, switch off mentally and ignore them.

It occurs to me that in order to embellish some of the larger traffic islands, we would need to think big – or biggish.

For instance, that bulky construction at Msida... the one with the Soviet era statue of the worker and his mate on top of it.

Might I suggest something appropriately larger, like perhaps a scale model of that iconic white elephant... Smart City, or even Signor Piano’s ‘masterpiece’ at City Gate – and no, I don’t mean the open-topped ‘theatre’.

And – since I suppose inanimate objects are the more practical choice for roundabout embellishments, what could be more apposite – especially these days – than a life-size sculpture of an overcrowded boatload of African migrants? It might even wake up the rest of Europe to their plight.

I am well aware that there are quite a few traffic islands already containing examples of locally crafted sculpture, which vary from decent to dubious quality. These may be weird and wonderful abstract constructions, or that famous – or some say notorious – giant willy parked just outside Luqa village.

But I’ve yet to see one that is truly reflective of our unique culture and heritage.

So... let’s get really local and commission a sculptor to come up with a statue representing the truly Maltese art of football corruption. Ideas should come flooding in; from a group of players surrounding a bookie to collect their ‘winnings’; to a goalkeeper getting nutmegged by one of his own players... and all in bronze, of course.

So yes, I think the writer of that much-mocked letter could really be onto something.

Why not blow a few million euros on something that lets the tourists really get to know Malta and the Maltese.