The night the driver of home affairs minister Manuel Mallia shot at an unarmed man following a car chase, he torpedoed his boss’s political career. He talks to Ariadne Massa in his first interview since the Prime Minister sacked him four months ago.

Looking back at what happened do you have any regrets?

Yes. I obviously regret the incident. I regret what happened. I wish I didn’t have to go through what I did. I will not comment on the details of the case, on what allegedly happened or otherwise, as it’s still sub judice. But, personally I regret the incident. I also regret that, perhaps, it could have embarrassed the government I form part of.

Did it deal the government a blow?

Quite frankly I don’t think it did as such. Now four months have passed and a lot of people – this is not just my impression – believe I had nothing to do with this.

Obviously, I acknowledge that sometimes even if you’re not to blame you have to shoulder responsibility. But as far as this case is concerned people believe I had absolutely nothing to do with hiding or covering up this incident. And I thank them for that, because it’s the truth.

Do you think people would honestly tell you the truth? Aren’t these your friends?

It’s not just my friends. I don’t give up and this isn’t a game. I still believe in the (Labour Party) movement. After the incident I didn’t adopt the outlook of ‘this happened to me so I don’t care about the rest’...

Do you feel hurt by what happened?

Yes. In politics you always have people criticising you and thank God they do... criticism is what keeps you on your toes and wary to remain on the right track... But I think I was honestly doing my work in the most capable, honest way, so to have my termination come in such a way… yes, it hurt.

I was in the legal profession for 40 years – I still am to this day – nobody had ever said anything against me, and, indeed, I would have expected that if there was any mud to sling they would have unearthed it when I decided to contest with the Labour movement.

So it hurts that after just one year and nine months, this had to happen.

Why did you refuse to resign? You gave the Prime Minister no choice but to sack you. Shouldn’t you have spared yourself the embarrassment?

No. I didn’t think so then and I still believe I made the right decision.

Initially, had it been felt there was political responsibility to shoulder because I was the Home Affairs Minister and this happened under my watch, then, yes, one would resign.

Did you offer your resignation the day after the incident?

I wouldn’t say I offered it, but I can’t say it was not discussed... So many things happen, even abroad (he referred to the incident in South Carolina where a policeman shot an unarmed black man, as an example). So it’s a very fine line whether you should resign or not.

It’s true a lot of people talk about the culture of resignations in such instances... But nobody at that stage told me, listen you ought to resign for purely political responsibility.

But at the time, the day after the incident, was resigning ever an issue?

No... and you’d feel it if other people within the party or the establishment think you ought to resign. Rather there was support. So, obviously, resigning was not an issue.

Did that strengthen your resolve to stay on?

Yes. The Prime Minister had consulted me regarding the inquiry and I fully agreed with it because I had nothing to hide. I went there and gave evidence. I did not resign after the inquiry because I felt it exculpated me and I had nothing to do with covering up the incident.

And I believed that had I resigned at that stage it could have been interpreted as if I had something to do with a cover-up.

By nature I’m not arrogant. On the contrary, I go down to any level. I enjoy meeting people and I don’t think I’m anything special

Don’t you think this did you more harm? Were you thinking as a criminal lawyer rather than a politician?

No, I don’t think the fact I’m a criminal lawyer has anything to do with this. There were certain circumstances that angered me, which I wouldn’t like to get into. Also, I felt the matter was no longer one of political responsibility. Initially, if somebody had told me you are the minister, this man was a policeman, he was given to you as your driver and this allegedly happened and you have to step down purely for political responsibility, then I’d probably have said yes.

Was it something you considered at the time?

Remember, the inquiry was investigating whether there was a cover-up or not... so if I resigned it would have meant I had something to do with it. I had absolutely nothing to do with a cover-up. So I thought why resign now. This is the way I look at it, perhaps I’m wrong...

Do you feel you were made a scapegoat at the time?

I think, yes... But it’s now four months old now; it’s in the past.

In a letter tabled in Parliament, which you had written to the Prime Minister after you were sacked, you had said there were at least two witnesses who could corroborate your testimony that you had not seen the press statement before it was released on the night of the incident. However, you had said these were not asked to testify. Who are these people and what happened?

I don’t wish to enter into the merits of this. I reiterate that I had not seen the statement that night, but I don’t feel we should enter into this.

Had you found support in Cabinet when this happened?

I wouldn’t know because at the time I didn’t attend Cabinet or the parliamentary group meeting because I felt they should be free to discuss the situation in my absence.

What had you said to the Prime Minister and his chief of staff Keith Schembri at the time? It was clear there was pressure for you to step down.

I wouldn’t like to go into it.

When was the first time you met the Prime Minister when you were sacked?

Very soon after...

Was it cordial?

Yes, there was never any animosity.

Not even just a bit? Isn’t it only human to feel that way?

Yes... But our strong friendship withstood that.

What led to the bridge-building?

There was no need for bridge-building.

Well, obviously relations must have soured. What brought about the healing process?

I don’t think there was ever any need for any healing. You may not know me. For a couple of days I was bothered, yes, but never worried... I simply settled down into my normal life. I suddenly realised I was living again and I had more quality time for my wife and kids; I could drive my own car... I could go to my place in Gozo; I could travel with my wife more often; I went back to my old office and it was a pleasure.

Obviously, with a sense of bitterness...

No, not at all.

How has this incident changed you?

I went back to the life I always knew... Politically, I willingly form part of the Labour movement [he steers clear of ever referring to it as the Labour Party]. I’d like to continue helping the movement implement it for the good of the people.

I must admit, when the Prime Minister sent for me to be a minister, I had refused. I told him I’d like to be a backbencher. I wasn’t interested in being a minister.

Why not?

I loved my profession. I had my clientele. I had done my part to help this movement... However, Joseph is quite convincing. In one year, nine months I learnt a lot... you learn who are your friends, or people pretending to be your friends.

Do you feel you ever made the transition between being a criminal lawyer and a politician?

Yes, yes... politics is so different from being a lawyer. I was a lawyer in litigation and my life was the courtroom. If I hadn’t made the transition I wouldn’t be giving you this interview.

What was the biggest shift you had to make?

First, I was always self-employed and suddenly I realised I was employed. Second, your personal office is a smaller enterprise with people you’d have chosen for their capabilities. In politics it’s a bigger enterprise... So I had to rely a lot on what people reported to me, my secretariat and the civil service, which wasn’t easy... it’s a different mentality.

Your chief of staff Silvio Scerri landed you in hot water several times. How do you feel about this?

There were certain things that could have been done differently, but it’s useless dwelling on this now.

Do you feel betrayed by him?

No. Betrayed is a strong word. I think it’s a situation where the person, or we, took certain decisions we could have taken differently.

Do you regret giving him such free rein?

Well. I don’t think I gave him any special free rein. I had a portfolio with some 25 departments so you need to give somebody the space... It’s a lot of work.

Many people out there used to view Silvio Scerri as an albatross around your neck. What’s your view?

I don’t think so. I think it’s an exaggeration.

Why did you keep him on?

Because he was the chief of staff and every person has a contract, renewable every year. There was no reason until then for me not to renew his contract after the first year.

There’s also the perception that when you were a minister you were a bully and pompous; for example you were going around with police outriders. What’s your reaction?

Not really. Those who know me, know better. Yes there were certain instances I didn’t like... Sometimes you’re in a position where you’re late and my driver would radio for clearance if there would be a traffic jam.

One time I had to meet a foreign dignitary at the airport and it was crucial I was there on time. Whenever it happened, to be quite honest, I was embarrassed, I didn’t like it, because it screamed ‘look at me’, and I’m not that type of person. By nature I’m not arrogant. On the contrary, I go down to any level. I enjoy meeting people and I don’t think I’m anything special.

Perception differs from reality. Did you fail to eradicate that perception?

After this incident, I think now more than ever before I have the support of the grassroots

Perception is built; by the media quite often and by anybody who has an interest. I think I was a target for the Nationalist Party. I don’t think the PN ever forgave me for joining this movement. I was a target from the beginning... Maybe we didn’t do enough, and my communications officer didn’t do enough to eradicate this perception. But it’s just perception.

Do you think hardcore Labourites ever embraced you?

Yes. Today, yes.

Why today?

I’ll tell you... There will always be those who are sceptical because I came from the opposing camp. There will be those who feel they’ve been suffering for many years and it was now their time... I understand, and it’s natural to have adversaries. I was elected in two districts and there may have been those who had been trying and failed or were left out; it’s human nature and this can only work against you.

When I spoke for the first time at the Labour conference I got a lot of support. Together with people like Deborah Schembri, I gave the movement the most credibility.

After this incident, I think now more than ever before I have the support of the grassroots.

After the incident you were absent for a while, then you re-emerged ahead of the local council elections. Why did you choose that moment?

I kept going to Parliament. I wasn’t in hiding.

Yes, but you weren’t seen at public events...

I was no longer a minister so you’re not appearing at every event. But I was asked to address the event at Żebbuġ, I had just read what [Opposition leader] Simon Busuttil had said that the reason I was sacked was thanks to him; that he had something to do with it. I just wanted to make it clear I’m still here, and I’m so ingrained in the movement that I’m a soldier of steel.

What inspired you to use that phrase? You and the term ‘soldier of steel’ don’t sit well together in the traditional sense of the word.

What I wanted to stress is that although I hadn’t been with the party for so many years, I was like a soldier of steel – impossible to shift.

Did you choose the term yourself?

Yes, of course. Nobody writes my speeches.

Do you think it was the right choice of words?

Yes, why not?

It took us back to a year ago when Joseph Muscat used those words to describe former Labour MEP candidate Cyrus Engerer.

I don’t recall what was said...

But it did conjure up other imagery.

But that’s perception. It’s taken and spun.

But exactly, it was connected to Cyrus Engerer’s incident which led people to question if wrongdoing was rewarded. So in your case is wrongdoing rewarded?

I don’t think there was any wrongdoing. And what reward is there?

Talk is that you’ve been offered a new position in Cabinet. Everybody is talking about a comeback.

This is the Prime Minister’s prerogative.

Have you been offered a position in Cabinet?

I was never offered the Foreign Ministry post as reported by the PN media.

But have you been offered another position?

I cannot comment.

Do you think it would be appropriate for you to return to Cabinet?

The Prime Minister may think so.

Politically, do you believe it would send the right message?

I don’t think it would send a wrong message, but at the end of the day my political future depends on the Prime Minister. I will treat the subject there and then when the subject is discussed.

Are you happy you entered politics? You didn’t need to enter politics, was it to satiate your ego?

No. Ego, why? Modestly speaking I was respected as a lawyer, I didn’t need politics. I entered because Joseph (Muscat) persuaded me I could contribute to the movement.