A marriage is so much more than the wedding day. Jo Caruana chats to two recently married couples to discover what happens when the honeymoon ends and real life begins.

Life is all about adjustments. In our younger years, we switch schools and make new friends. As we get older we try different paths, have various relationships, sample different jobs and even live in different countries. Yes, as a species there’s no denying we’re open to change and actually pretty good at it.

Whichever way you look at it, getting married will doubtlessly be one of the most significant alternations a person will face in their lifetime. Sometime it is accompanied by a change in name or change in home, but it is always marked by a new stage in life.

Sara Ali and Stephen Strijbosch on their wedding day.Sara Ali and Stephen Strijbosch on their wedding day.

For newly-weds Peter Greig and Ilona Sammut, who tied the knot in Italy last year, marriage was a step into the dark. They’d only known each a few months when Peter proposed and they decided to give it a go.

“It was Peter’s second marriage, but my first,” Ilona said, adding that she looks back on their courtship as a complete whirlwind. “That meant there was quite an adjustment period because he knew what he was getting into – or at least what he thought he was getting to – whereas I really had no idea. Most of our family has their reservations but we were resolute about our decision and it was all very exciting.”

Eleven months on and Ilona admits that being married was a little challenging at first – but that it was all worth it. “Peter is a neat-freak, whereas I am really relaxed. He is a homebody, whereas I like to spend lots of time out and about.

I do admit that I worried about whether we had made the right move. We even argued about who should get more space in the sock drawer!

“Because we didn’t live together first, everything came crashing down after the wedding and it was quite a shock. I do admit that I worried about whether we had made the right move. We even argued about who should get more space in the sock drawer!”

However, now that the initial shock is over (especially for Ilona, who had previously never lived away from her parents) the couple have settled into their new life and routine.

“I’m not worried anymore,” she smiled. “Of course we have our ups and our downs, but we have become very good at communicating them and understanding each other’s needs. We recently moved into our new house too, as we were previously living in Peter’s apartment, and that has made a huge difference.”

Ilona stressed that open communication is the most important thing for newlyweds to bear in mind.

“If you haven’t lived together, then the sense of panic can feel overwhelming at first,” she said.

“I really had to fight the urge not to flee. But Peter’s calming influence has taught me a lot in just a few months, and now I believe our marriage is a very strong one.”

Also still experiencing the start of life beyond their honeymoon, is young couple Stephen Strijbosch and Sara Strijbosch Ali, who met while they were both working for a bank. They developed a firm friendship, but that quickly turned to love and Stephen proposed 10 months into their relationship.

It had been an eventful 10 months – Stephen already had a son from a previous relationship, while Sara was learning to live with her recently-diagnosed ulcerative colitis, a painful bowel condition.

“It was tough at first but Stephen has a way of making me smile for absolutely no reason at all,” Sara grinned. “And I quickly fell for that.”

With the proposal agreed to, the couple moved in and lived together for three years before tying the knot. Then, once they did get married, their daughter, Emily, came along soon after – adding another significant change to their lives.

“I had been told it might be a struggle for me to get pregnant, so it was a massive shock. But it was a brilliant one and Emily has completed our family.”

Nevertheless, the couple have still had to make some adjustments to married life. “We’re complete opposites! Stephen is calm, cool and relaxed, while I am nervous and jumpy. Our opposing personalities took some time to get used to. It’s a learning curve, but we are committed to getting it right.”

Now that they’re nearly a year in, I asked Sara and Stephen if they had any marriage advice for other newlyweds. “If I knew the secret to a happy marriage, I’d be writing books, posting on You Tube and telling everyone I know… while getting rich in the process!” Sara smiled. “There’s no easy answer but, in my opinion, it’s all about chemistry and doing things to make the other person happy.”

With that in mind she suggests keeping the romance alive long after you’ve tied the knot. “With two kids, hectic jobs and the fact I am still studying, quality time is hard to find, but it is definitely worth it. Whether you’re married or not, don’t get stuck in a rut. Try new things and always embark on new adventures – even if that’s simply trying out a new recipe together.”

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