You’re not the bride, but you feel responsible for her. It’s not your party but you play a significant role in it. And while many will agree that it is an honour to experience, so closely such an important celebration, others beg to differ.

Corrina Galea looks back to when she was a bridesmaid to a relative and had to wear a big, puffy dress with an annoying underskirt. She recalls that the underskirt, made out of harsh netting, scratched her legs throughout the wedding Mass.

“I could not wait to get it off me... once I got to the reception I went straight to the bathroom to take the underskirt off. My mother followed to see what I was doing and stopped me because we hadn’t taken the pictures yet.”

It was a very upsetting experience for Corrina, so much so that she wanted to go home even before the wedding party even started. “I remember my mum agreeing with me, but telling me we had to stay on. I had to wear that awful dress until the end.” This, she says, is where and when her hate for big dresses was born.

Charmaine Attard Borg says that while she has been a bridesmaid a number of times and enjoyed the experience, the last one did not go so well. So much so that it ended a friendship. She felt hurt by the way she was treated, saying that she even disliked the dress chosen for her.

“I was also made responsible for the alterations. I needed a bolero to go with the dress and was refused one... a whole series of misadventures.”

Furthermore, on the big day she was assigned to the washing up of dishes at the bride’s house. “It was a total mess.”

One woman described her experience as boring and extremely tiring, after being a bridesmaid twice. “You have to start early in the morning with your hair and make-up and by the time you need to get to the church, you’re already exhausted.”

Although at the church you can ‘rest’ a little, the whole thing kicks off again as soon as the wedding reception begins.

“Accompanying the bride and groom to collect gifts and hand out wedding souvenirs was a pain. When the party was over, there was also a part when I had to go round the guests again asking them to sign a register.”

Many former bridesmaids say that the main frustration is the desire to really help and be part of the party, but very often they cannot because of the uncomfortable dresses and shoes that they’re wearing.

She wanted to go home even before the wedding party even started

“When you are a bridesmaid you can’t just stand there and enjoy the party, you have work. So it really doesn’t help when the bride insists on you wearing a dress that is not practical... not to mention adding uncomfortable shoes to that.”

One woman recalls her bridesmaid experience at the age of 14, a shy and timid teenager. “This was my brother’s wedding, so I could not opt out of it. I remember not enjoying it because I was so shy. A definite minus point was that the other bridesmaid was extremely beautiful – with long dark hair and big blue eyes. At that age, I was not too pleased being away from home for a whole day. I would rather have been with my brother and my own family.”

Maria Galea says that she would never ask a close friend to be her bridesmaid because that would mean that she would not be able to enjoy her wedding.

“The running around after the bride and groom and guests for the gifts and souvenirs, the running after the camera person... It’s so busy with no time to even touch a single food item.”

Trends, however, seem to be changing and in most cases bridesmaids are being given the choice to choose their own dress: comfortable and not fussy. However, some weddings are also becoming more elaborate, with some bridesmaids being given more jobs.

In most cases, it is also perhaps due to pre-wedding stress that brides come across the wrong way and as a result upset their wedding party. Probably the most important role a bridesmaid could have, if at all, would be that of reassuring the bride and comforting her during the many bouts of stress she may have.

Ultimately, I think it is still an honour that someone would like you to be part of such a significant celebration so, all in all, probably it is best to take a step back and for one day forget our own views and needs in order to ensure that the bride and groom enjoy their day.

But brides, do remember that expecting too much or abusing of the role of a bridesmaid is completely unacceptable.

In an ordinary situation, a bride will look back and remember whether her bridesmaid co-operated with her or not. That is the one fact to remember.