I’d like to start by answering some of my fiercest critics. In the first place I’m amazed that I’ve got any critics; I’m lovely... ask my mother.

Anyway, some misguided idiots have suggested that where our charismatic and loveable leader Jo-zeff is concerned, I may appear to be just a little, weeny bit sycophantic. Not so, I can be as critical of the great man as anybody... Not to his face, of course, I’m not a complete idiot; but I have – on occasion – voiced criticism. Oh yes.

For instance... I was a little upset not to get Tweedledum (Little tubby Manuel’s) job, when he fell off his perch – and I said so... to my mummy. I mean, everybody knows an accountant (me) is far superior to any lawyer... just look at Johnnie Dalli. Although on second thoughts, that may not be the best example. But suffice it to say that sycophancy is not me, uh oh... no way.

Anyway, I’m pleased to get that misconception out of the way: March is here and spring is er... springed – or something. Two years in the job and our beloved Jo-zeff just goes from strength to immortality. Loved and respected by all – or nearly all – Maltese, and the rest of the global political class. A man with the dazzling charisma of Alfred Sant and the political acumen of George W. Bush. What an endorsement!

As further proof of his universal loveableness, what about his recent meeting with Angela Merkel. In the official photos the German Chancellor positively glowed with admiration for our very own capo. Not that I was in any way surprised.

Two years in the job and our beloved Jo-zeff just goes from strength to immortality

I see yet another prominent member of what’s left of the vestigial Opposition has seen sense and joined our ever-swelling ranks. At this rate there will soon be no Opposition left to oppose... roll on that day. As Ian Castaldi Paris observed... or would have done, given half a chance: “All doubts, prior to the last general election, have now been expunged in an orgy of what amounts to nothing short of veneration of our flawless and truly wondrous leader.”

To other matters of import: We are told that this month, March, is when the new Parliament building is to be inaugurated, yet another triumph for our c & l leader. However, they do say that at first the seating arrangements may be just a little eccentric. So what if we do have to sit on the floor for a month or two, it is ready... or almost, thanks to nothing less than Jo-zeff’s overwhelming personality and tireless perseverance. We may even be able to hold parliamentary sessions in it... some time after Easter... or thereabouts.

Will they never learn? The Opposition media, I mean. Several sneering pieces have appeared, courtesy of the nasty Nats, just because our revered Prez, on a State visit to London, invited the crème of that city to a ‘High tea kbir’ in our High Commission. I think it was extremely decent of her to treat a select selection of the UK’s top nobs to such a sophisticated Maltese thrash.

Finally, I would like to address recent carping criticism of myself in various organs of the Opposition media. It would seem that my change of heart re the spring hunting referendum has given rise to this outpouring of partisan vitriol.

Yes it’s true that I did initially not only oppose spring hunting, but also allied myself prominently in the camp of those against the practice, and indeed opposed to all forms of hunting. It has been suggested – again in the Opposition media – that my recent decision to not only endorse spring hunting but to positively encourage it – is due, in no small way, to the fact that our dear leader Jo-zeff has come out strongly in favour.

Well I can put your minds at rest: yes of course that’s the reason. What’s good enough for Jo-zeff is certainly good enough for me. Bring on the referendum, I say. Let’s show these puny abolitionists who’s boss around here. Viva spring hunting! Viva Jo-zeff!