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Why don’t cars come with anti-winter measures? I’m not talking about cold weather tyres: oh no. I mean something to stop my eyes streaming, my nose running and my throat spasming like a tasered octopus.

This combination makes driving quite tricky, and I’m not of the belief that driving by touch is the way forward.

Unlike one of my neighbours, who seems to like using my wife’s Skoda Citigo as a bump stop and a general rub-along guide for parallel parking.

Colds and flu are supremely irritating but they’re a fact of life (for now). So could car makers be doing more to help us sickly mortals out?

A Lemsip dispenser in the centre console would be nice, and maybe an automated interior wiper blade for my face. Give it multiple speeds if you want, Mr Audi/Honda/Fiat et al, but at the moment I think I’ll only need the fastest setting, thanks.

‘But if you’re full of cold and/or flu, why don’t you just take the bus?’ you ask. Well, questioner, clearly you have never been on a bus.

Buses are full of people who, regardless of the time of year, are even more ill than you, usually noisier than you and far too often smellier than you. Taking the bus is a heinous idea that I refuse to entertain. Once, when I dropped a car off at a body shop, I walked the seven miles home rather than getting the bus, so there isn’t a sniffle on this earth that would be bad enough to make me turn to public transport.

This is up to you, manufacturers. I’m counting on you. Design and build me a car that comes with proper anti-flu measures. I’ll need it by this evening’s drive home. That’s all okay, right?