The other day, an invitation popped through the letter box for a birthday party at a five-star hotel.

Two-hundred guests were treated to a mini ice cream van, a candy floss machine and a sweet stall with all sorts of colourful bonbons for all to tuck into.

There was no alcohol, though, which is understandable, seeing as the party was for a three-year-old.

Birthday parties used to be a simple affair: you invited your cousins; played in the garden while your parents chatted over a cup of tea with your aunts and uncles, then you were called inside, made a wish, blew out the candles and cut the cake. And that was that.

“I only had two proper parties when I was little: one for my Holy Communion, and the other on my Confirmation.

“Those are the only times I had all my school friends over at home for a big party,” Alexia Farrugia, 35, said.

Up to 15 years ago, that was the norm. At Holy Communion parties, children played pass the parcel, then musical chairs, then pin the tail on the donkey and, as a special treat, they got a magician – with a real rabbit in his top hat.

We’ve started treating our children like they are really fragile

Not anymore. Now each year, children celebrate their birthdays in style, with animators dressed up as Disney characters, clown DJs, fancy rock climbing and five-star hotels.

At one point, when my daughter was six, her social life was infinitely busier than mine: I was practically her private taxi service from one party to the next.

What happened to simple birthday games?

“We’ve started treating our children like they are really fragile,” Natalie Cauchi, 37, said.

“Take pass the parcel,” she said. “The fear is children will be offended if they don’t get the present, so there’s a present enclosed at each unwrapping stage, so everybody gets one.”

In fact, everyone gets a present for every game played, which notches up the cost for parents.

“It used to be that the only person who got a present was the child having the party. Now I spend at least €8 per child on the party bag, which they get at the end of the party and another €50 on little presents for the games,” Ms Cauchi said.

A party at the National Aquarium costs €12.50 per child, cake is an extra €40.

Most parties these days are themed: Tom and Jerry, Princess Elsa, Spiderman, Pirates... and this means matching paper cups and plates, happy birthday banners, whistles, helium balloons and cake.

Holding a party at home is no longer common. Most parents now opt for an increasingly vast selection of venues.

Children can have adventure parties hanging on zip wires and abseiling down buildings. They can zap each other in laser tag. They can watch a live dolphin show and clap along with sea lions. There are bowling parties, cinema parties and potter parties.

It used to be that the only person who got a present was the child having the party. Now I spend at least €8 per child on the party bag

You can even hire a yellow revamped xarabank, which comes to your door full of balloons. Children can ride a horse, touch snakes, hold a falcon or feed a llama.

All this comes at a cost, of course. An exercise carried out by The Sunday Times of Malta shows that the average cost of a party at these venues reaches between €8 to €12 for every child invited, so for a party of 15 children, the average spent is between €150 to €200, for not more than three hours.

If you don’t want to boss the kids around to play the games, you need to pay extra for animators. Moreover, the cost of the venue most often does not include the party bags or the cake. At times not even the food is included.

When the nosh is part of the package, it is usually something which looks like a pizza Margherita, or pale chicken nuggets or sad burgers.

Some venues dictate a minimum number of children – usually not less than 14 – and if fewer children turn up, the full cost still has to be covered. Add to that amount parents also buying their child a present.

On average, a child’s birthday party is costing parents around €500 each year, and that is a modest figure.

The cost of a party at home, with 10 children fed homemade burgers, playing old-fashioned party games, given a chocolate coin at the end of each game and a balloon to take away with them costs no more than €50.

Have we, over the years, lost the knack of entertaining 10 children and blowing out a couple of candles?

Where’s the party?

kchetcuti@timesofmalta.com