Finding the right person to take care of your children while you’re working or playing can present a right headache. Daniela Allen is at hand with some mothers’ top tips.

Finding the right nanny requires dedication.Finding the right nanny requires dedication.

I was always adamant about not leaving my three children with a nanny. Not that I had anything against having one, it was a matter of principle more than anything else. I had promised myself it would be members of the family who would be with the children when I was away. Indeed, that is what happened for while.

However that ‘promise’ was broken as circumstances changed and family was no longer available for reasons that were beyond my control.

It was then that reality struck and I had to accept the fact that I needed outside help. I had no option. I also felt it was not right to rely on the one set of grandparents who had some time on their hands. Why should I impose on how they should use their free time? Therefore, my husband and I decided that whenever we needed someone to help at home with the children it would have to be someone outside the family.

My conscience was clear; I was doing it because I had no choice. Besides, I also believe that it is a healthier choice for both parents to work; earn a salary or even do voluntary work, whether for a few hours a day/week and maybe while keeping in mind that family comes first.

So, the search for a reliable nanny began. It took a while. I asked around, friends of friends and other personal contacts. It took months of trying to find that right person to trust and care for my children while I was away. When, finally, I was recommended someone I set an appointment with the person and chatted at length.

The person must also be ready to take orders and criticism. She must bind with the children and treat them like her own

First impressions count. She was smartly dressed but, more importantly, clean and tidy; calm and serene, with barely any make-up on, yet looking fresh. When she came to my house she greeted the children with a warm smile allowing for some distance, respecting the fact that she was still a stranger to them. Her background was teaching and that, needless to say, was a bonus. As time went by, I observed how she integrated well with my family and I realised how important that time of research was; finding the ‘right’ person for your children is no easy task. I spent many hours with her at home, both of us playing with the children so that there would be that familiarisation period, before I actually left her alone with them. It worked out well, my children were happy and so was I.

Debbie Tully a mother-of-two believes every family should have some form of help. A career woman with a husband who is often away on work, like many of us Debbie does not have any relatives to help her with the children.

She remembers how, when she lived abroad, she had a nanny to be with her son. Now, while her son is older and does not need a nanny he still enjoys the company of one when she comes to stay with her younger daughter.

Debbie says we cannot automatically think that grandparents are always there to help us. There are particular characteristics that Debbie looks out for in a nanny/babysitter. “Her background and education. Her appearance and also whether on weekends she is available or if she prefers going out at than being with the children.” She says it takes someone responsible enough to take care of the children but, most importantly, someone who is not trying to take the mother’s place.

Roberta Bisazza, also a mother of two, says she does not like leaving children with grand parents.

“It’s a heavy burden for them and babysitting is tiring, too. I understand that many women have no option. Nanny services are not cheap when you consider how much you pay every month. I chose to have a nanny three times a week and let my parents have the children to enjoy their company, not the responsibility of many hours while I work.”

She says if she had the option she would not work. “I am very old fashioned in this regard and I believe that the only person the children need is their mother... my choice to follow my career was not due to wanting out and breaking the monotony of a household, but because I am the only one in my family who can take over at work.”

Referring to the choice of a nanny Roberta says she did not consider anyone young or non Maltese. Nursery to her was not an option either before the age of two.

“So I opted for a homely Maltese woman who I was lucky enough to find by word of mouth after months of looking around. Choosing a nanny is a heavy responsibility and the person must also be ready to take orders and criticism. She must bind with the kids and treat them like her own.”

Mother of three Ira Carbone said the important things she looks out for in a nanny are cleanliness, positive interaction with the children such as playing, speaking, reading and so forth. “There has to be a genuine interest in the child’s well being and his/her needs by asking the necessary questions and being proactive.”

She says a nanny should be able to be in control. “She must be able to take instructions and follow through on them, together with ensuring good communication with the parents.” The important character traits, Ira says should be patience, keeping composed, happy and having a friendly personality.

Opinions and views vary, although undoubtedly children would prefer to have their parent/s at home. But life has to go on and people have to work – nowadays more than ever. One cannot be too emotional on the matter especially when faced with few options. As with everything else in life it is striking the right balance that is key to everything. My children, however, will always come first.

Sign up to our free newsletters

Get the best updates straight to your inbox:
Please select at least one mailing list.

You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the link in the footer of our emails. We use Mailchimp as our marketing platform. By subscribing, you acknowledge that your information will be transferred to Mailchimp for processing.