A cyber pulling ground or just a harmless way to meet new people? Helen Raine speaks to some people to find out more about the latest social networking app.
If your options for Valentine’s entertainment include watching TV or doing the laundry, it might be time to light your fire with Tinder. It’s the latest social network to cause a buzz and its appeal lies in its very simplicity.
You simply flick through a selection of profiles, swiping left to pass. When someone catches your eye, you swipe right and bingo – if that person swiped you too, you’re in contact. By midnight you could be living it up with your new bestie in Paceville, kissing under the moonlight by the walls of Mdina or frantically flicking through your phone to find a replacement for the one that didn’t work out.
Interestingly, Rosette Pambakian, vice president of Communications & Brand Partnerships, is careful not to call Tinder a dating app. Instead, she describes it as a social network.
“Essentially, all Tinder does is facilitate an introduction between two mutually interested people,” she says. “Beyond that, it is entirely up to them to decide what comes out of that connection. Our users are leveraging Tinder to form relationships in the context of friendship, dating, getting recommendations from locals while travelling to new places and even business networking.”
It’s easy to get started. “Users download the app and log in through Facebook, so each Tinder account is tied to a unique Facebook account. It’s the fastest and easiest way to meet new people and form new connections. The simplicity of the profiles keeps Tinder fun and easy to use.”
Tinder purports to be different from other social networks because it needs what they call a “double opt-in”. Pambakian says: “The only way two people can begin communicating within the app is if both users like each other and it results in a match. This way, our users are not bombarded with messages from people that they do not wish to get to know.”
And the combination seems to be working. “Globally, our users are swiping 1.5 billion times daily, which results in more than 20 million matches made each day,” Pambakian says.
You can use the app to take a photo and share it with all your matches at once, to give them a glimpse into your life. Users can react by swiping right to ‘like’ or left to ‘nope’ – what Tinder calls a ‘Moment’.
Tinder says: “Just like IN real life, the moments we experience start to fade, which is why every shared Tinder Moment can only be seen for 24 hours.”
And a new development called Passport lets you change your location to match with people around the world so that when you arrive on holiday, you already have a new set of best friends (or more) lined up. So that’s the hype, but what is the reality?
With the site referred to by one user as “a human Argos catalogue”, where people are judged entirely on their looks and hopeful men sign up under the delusion of instant sex dates, there’s a danger that Tinder could be just another network that makes us feel bad about ourselves. Three people tell us all about their Tinderous highs and lows.
• Most of the men just click everyone
Charlene (not her real name) has been on Tinder for a few months after joining out of pure curiosity. She says: “When I first joined, it was exciting, but a bit embarrassing. I was also a little afraid of what pictures to load there.” She says that she got dozens of messages after she started using the site, but adds that it wasn’t a problem, “I just ignored most of them”.
“It was really easy and fun to find someone to connect with. I thought I was quite careful of who I clicked, but got a match from almost everyone. I think most of the men just click everyone, so after a while it got a little bit boring.”
The clincher for men seems to be the ability to write an interesting opening message that stands out from the crowd without being obscene. Charlene says: “Most of the opening lines from men were really boring, but some of them were clever. One guy seemed original and funny, so I started writing to him. It led to a date.”
She has now had dates with four guys. “I haven’t had any disasters but I have been quite careful. I’ve written to my matches for a long time before actually going on a date with them. The last guy seems like someone I could take things further with, but we’ll see how things go.”
There’s a perception that Tinder is just about meeting up for sex. Asked whether she thinks that’s true, Charlene says that: “For some people it probably is, but I don’t think it’s just for that. None of the guys I’ve met expected that.”
For her, the advantages of Tinder are that it’s easy and can be used anywhere and anytime. She adds: “You see a lot of people whom you probably wouldn’t meet anywhere else.”
The advantages of Tinder are that it’s easy and can be used anywhere and anytime
The downside is that it’s “superficial”. She also cautions against using the same profile photo that you use on your Facebook profile, as it makes it too easy for stalkers to find you. Still, she recommends it to all her friends. Is it a place to find love or just have fun? “I think both,” says Charlene.
• You can block them if they are annoying
Alex Ritter is from Switzerland. She is 26 and a nursery school teacher. She also travels the world regularly and has used Tinder as a wayto meet people abroad. She describes how she got hooked.
“One evening, when I was in a bar, I saw that most of my friends were on it. They showed me the concept and I decided to find my friends on it for fun and to see what kind of people are on Tinder.”
She says that it was easy to join but at first she was sceptical, as the app uses some of your Facebook information including your pictures, age, friend list and hobbies. Alex hasn’t found that to be long-term problem however.
She started off slowly, selecting very few profiles and consequently avoided the problem of being overwhelmed with messages.
“They can only text you if they also liked your profile so, if you’re not liking all the profiles, you’re not bombarded. You can also block them if they are annoying.”
She initially connected only with people she already knew.
For her, the advantage of the app is the ability to use it when she is abroad to speak to other travellers or to locals. She says: “They can give me good deals, ideas for hostels and places to see.”
She’s been on fishing trips, gone on whale-watching tours with local fishermen, hiked to secret waterfalls, got a lift home from the pub and generally had a blast meeting like-minded people who just want to have some fun. For lone travellers, this is salvation from trying to break into groups at busy hostels.
In terms of romance, Alex says that she has only met with two boys in real life. One was on the Hawaiian island of Kauai.
“It’s nice to be in contact with young people there because there aren’t many bars or discos and it’s hard to meet people. We just talked together on the beach,” she said.
The second was in her hometown of Geneva. “I immediately felt that he was funny and not looking for just a sex story. We had a vibe and now he is a friend.”
She has also been in contact with someone from Alaska, her next travelling destination. She’ll meet up with him while she’s there, an instant companion who knows the place well.
She hasn’t had any bad experiences because “I don’t use it very often. I rarely like a profile, I don’t give out my number easily and I block people if I feel they are suspicious”.
But she adds: “Friends have told me that there are some fake profiles for the boys. The girls are very pretty but after a few messages, they give you a link to an internet porn site.”
As for the idea that Tinder is all about sex, Alex says: “Maybe it’s true, I am very naive sometimes. But when I sense that, for example, when I see a profile picture of just a guy’s body, I don’t accept them. I have never had a bad experience.”