A friend of mine had to stay in hospital for a couple of days recently. She shared a ward with four other women, who were, it seemed to me, in an excited teen-like sleepover mode.

They gathered round each other’s beds and discussed the best way to wash the floor, how many times should you clean the cupboard, their levels in Candy Crush, and the highlights of Katrina and Caqqufa series. All this to the background of four bed television sets on Becky, on full volume.

She asked them ever so politely to lower down the volume but was told No! Ma tarax. “At least, I’m going back home very au currant about Becky,” she said wearily.

Compare and contrast with another friend of mine who has German in-laws. Even when in their own living room they watch television wearing headphones. “Because one may prefer louder volumes than the other,” she said. “They have complete respect for each other’s sound space.”

It all boils down to manners.

In the words of my grandmother, everyone seems to have become “ordinarju” (common). It’s not about snobbery, and it has nothing to do with class, or breeding, or which television series we watch. It’s simply about being nice. About not just thinking of ourselves all the time.

“These days even people who should know better, don’t ‘do manners’,” said a historian friend. “It’s about a ritual of courtesy: even if someone is out to destroy you at least their manners make it bearable. Take duels in the past,” he said.

The ultimate show of rudeness can be seen in that atrocious video clip of Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi (atrociously self-centred) being abysmally and disgustingly rude to European Parliament President Martin Schultz. Watch it on You Tube and cringe.

Sadly, many are like that in their daily business life. People no longer say sorry if they are late for an appointment; and they seem to think it’s perfectly fine to keep people waiting or to leave a dinner half way through without having informed the host before.

Also people don’t even have a sense of boundaries anymore. Within the first few seconds of meeting someone for the first time and shaking their hands, my name is shortened: “Aw Kri, what’s up, okay ey?”

I’m Kristina to you, thank you very much, I want to say, and I’ve just met you, so please spare your ‘what’s up’. I just shook your hand, not high-fived you.

There’s also a great lack of road respect. On a rainy day I walk up the Ġlormu Cassar hill to Valletta in wellies and raincoat: cars zoom past without the merest consideration for pedestrians.

And have you noticed how when you’re at the traffic lights, and it turns amber, the drivers behind you start honking the horn if you don’t accelerate like the guys in The Fast and Furious.

Everyone is impatient. For what exactly?

According to German social theorist Hartmut Rosa we are the “acceleration society”. The more time we have, the more urgently we convince ourselves that it is running out faster.

Today we are all too busy – too busy even to stop and be polite

In 1965, housework alone took, on average, 40 hours a week, and yet today we are all too busy – too busy even to stop and be polite. Does it take a lot to hold a door, to say thank you and you’re welcome?

In the 12th century, King David I of Scotland promised tax rebates to any of his subjects who could learn to eat their food more elegantly. He was the first documented advocate of behavioural restraint.

Mr Minister of Finance, there’s an idea for the next Budget.

Manners test

1. Your phone rings while you’re having lunch, you...

a. Send it to voicemail.

b. Answer it in a whisper, telling the caller you will ring back.

c. Answer the phone and loudly chat for the next half hour.

2. You are seated in the elderly and disabled seat on the bus and an old lady with a stick comes onboard. You...

a. Immediately stand up, offering her your seat.

b. Try to avoid eye contact as she stumbles in.

c. Refuse to get up when she asks, then watch as she falls to the floor when the bus screeches to a sudden halt.

3. Your best friend has just been dumped and calls you while you are watching Becky. You...

a. Turn the TV off immediately

b. Keep the TV on and half listen to both.

c. Tell them not to be selfish, don’t they know Eileen Montesin is about to kick down a door?

Answers:

Mostly As – You are very polite and thoughtful, a modern day King David.

Mostly Bs – You are often polite but a product of the acceleration society.

Mostly Cs – You are rude, supremely selfish. Are you Renzi by any chance?

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Twitter: @KrisChetcuti