Ed eats

hiM
195, The Strand
Gżira
Tel: 2788 0400

Food: 8/10
Service: 8/10
Ambience: 7/10
Value: 5/10
Overall: 7/10

A long time ago, I worked for the local representative of one of the large, multinational food companies. I quickly learned that what appears to be the same product around the world is, in fact, heavily localised.

Different countries, I discovered, have a different taste profile.

This means that the average palate preference for an entire country is different from that of a country elsewhere on the planet. We tended to have a sweeter product than most, so while we seemed hell-bent on self- destruction, there are countries that have a conveniently more healthy inclination towards less sugary foods.

Somehow, I don’t have quite the sweet tooth, so I naturally tend to shy away from foods that taste sweet but ought not to. I don’t sweeten coffee or tea and don’t actively seek chocolates or other sweets very often.

I’m still working my way to an early grave though. I just swapped one poison for another, having an insatiable appetite for the deli counter instead. If I ever turn criminal and break into a supermarket by night, I’ll be caught the next morning in a food coma, lying quite still beneath the cheese counter.

So I was excited to learn about a place in Gżira that is chiefly based on mozzarella. Somehow the story wound its way to me via two or three people who knew I’d be keen but who hadn’t been there themselves, so I had no idea what to expect. I somehow pictured a little place you’d pop into for lunch – perhaps housing a couple of tables or a long bench.

I did drive by one evening though, just in case they served dinner, and was quite pleased to see that hiM, for such is the name of this cheese-focused eatery, looks quite the part and was filled with patrons having supper. The name is apparently an acronym for ‘high-quality Italian mozzarella’.

The place has been thoughtfully and attractively done up with rough wood panelling, white tile, products on neat displays and nifty lighting. And by ‘products on display’ I mean a whole gamut of wines, artisan beers, jars of marmalades and other preserves, pasta and a whole lot of very enticing foods.

The menu states that everything in there is available to take home, with the exception of the female members of staff. I snuck a look at one of the guys who was preparing food but I wasn’t quite sure what I’d do with him if I were to take him home so I let him be. I know someone who might like him though, so that’s one birthday present sorted.

I was there with the better half and she marched in ahead of me, determined to be the first person to speak. If I speak first, I tend to take the easy way out and speak Italian when in this context. Her grasp of Italian is roughly akin to my command of Mandarin. I can say ‘beer’, ‘thank you’ and ‘goodbye’. Coming to think of it, I’m not sure she knows the word for beer, so my Chinese might actually have an edge over her Italian.

The lady who greeted us was exceptionally well-prepared for the determined anglophile. She sprung into action, speaking perfect English with an encouraging smile and a disarming demeanour. I could now understand the caveat about leaving the female staff in peace.

There is no way you’ll appreciate the creamy innards of the burrata, after a mouthful Neapolitan salami

I looked through the menu and felt certain that there was a system in place that I wasn’t quite accustomed to, even if the instructions seemed quite clear. One is invited to pick a mozzarella portion size, add as many additional sides as necessary, and that’s about it.

Our host resisted giving me that look that’s reserved for the village idiot, even if I was entirely deserving of one, and explained that the number of sides would depend on how hungry I was. She suggested that I pick a mozzarella portion and then add the cheese platter and the salami platter. This way I’d get to sample as many different flavours as possible. The list of sides includes niceties like a truffle cream, anchovies and a flight of different cheeses and cold cuts.

Instead of mozzarella I picked the burrata. I have a particular weakness for its creamy goodness and hardly ever encounter this lovely take on mozzarella, unless I happen to be in Italy. I then carried on as I was told, adding the salami and cheese platters, and got over-enthusiastic so I added a dish of cooked ham. The speciality on the menu board behind us was a stracciata and this was described by our host as the stuff that’s inside the burrata. The better half was sold on this and the San Daniele cured ham so she picked both and added a plate of tomatoes and basil to her order. We picked the only wine they’d run out of and settled for a pretty inexpensive bottle of Inzolia.

There was hardly enough room on our table for all the plates that were served. The burrata and the stracciata were served in their own little bowls. A little basket was filled with sliced baguette. The cheese platter and the cold cuts included four different variants of each and served on square boards. Both hams were served on similar dishes and a plateful of freshly sliced tomatoes completed the meal.

This was the closest one can get to supper from a very accomplished deli. A wonderfully spicy salami, two kinds of cured lard and a fabulous mortadella made up the cold cuts platter. The cheeses included a Parmeggiano, a cheese that’s as close to a cacio as I could picture, a due latti and another delightful cheese I couldn’t possibly name. Everything was laid on a bed of rucola, the ubiquitous weed featuring a little more prevalently than I’d like it to.

The burrata was as sensational as ever, with a beautifully textured mozzarella exterior and a creamy and stringy interior. These guys make fresh mozzarella every day and the effort it takes to do this pays off in spades.

Eating across such a spread is tricky because it helps if you treat your palate to the simplest of flavours, ramping up the intensity as you go along. There’s no way you’ll appreciate the creamy innards of the burrata, for instance, after a mouthful of Neapolitan salami.

I tried to approach the meal sensibly but found myself picking around the table and just enjoying the sheer variety of flavours and textures. Picture a chocaholic inside a magical chocolate factory out of a Dahl novel and that was roughly my reaction.

We paid €35 for dinner for two and I walked out of there with a box that contained all the hams and cheeses I hadn’t managed to finish. I know this might be standard practice for some but I can’t recall a single time I’ve done this. I always wave away suggestions to pack up my leftovers after a meal but this one time I just couldn’t bring myself to part with what was left. Just in case the contents of the box wouldn’t keep, I consumed the lot as a midnight snack a couple of hours later.

Two days passed and I was meeting a friend for lunch. He spends as much time in Italy as he does in Malta and loved the idea of a mozzarella-based meal. This time I simply picked a panino with burrito and Cetara anchovies, while the more health-conscious one picked the salmon salad. We added a burrata to share because I insisted that he tastes it, and shared a bottle of water.

Once again we were treated to the same great service by the girl from the other night and once again the food was freshly prepared, tasted lovely and was generous in portion. We shared a chocolate tart at the end and it was really lovely, mainly because it wasn’t too sweet, so the taste of chocolate wasn’t masked. Oddly, we paid almost €30 this time around.

hiM, despite the slightly silly name, has worked out quite a unique formula and has had the common sense to leave the word ‘concept’ off their menus, even if they can plausibly get away with it. I guess the acid test should be my desire to return. I will be back for certain, hopefully without delay, and I’ll be sure to try the beers when I do.

You can send e-mails about this column to ed.eatson@gmail.com or follow @edeats on Twitter.

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