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Tonio Borg: Nidħqu Bina Nfusna. Kite Group, 2014. 158 pp

This book, written in Maltese, has been baking in the oven for many years. Tonio Borg somehow feared to take the plunge and systematically proffered a whole list of excuses, but at last he has kept his word. And here it is, in full force.

This is a book riddled with short, humorous, genuine anecdotes experienced by several Maltese politicians. At long last we can read about a Maltese politician and laugh without being labelled a turncoat, a hardliner, a disgruntled party man, or a member of the Tagħna Lkoll Club.

Borg’s life in politics is long and star-studded. He held several ministerial posts; was appointed Vice-Prime Minister; elected vice-head of the Nationalist Party and, until recently, held the post of European Commissioner. He has all the credentials from the political angle.

But what about the humorous aspect? Those who do not know Borg personally may have a mistaken impression of him as shorn of humour. His straight posture, serious demeanour and professional aura hide a diametrically opposed truth. He oozes humour. Every time I meet this gentleman, whom I have known for many years, we immediately relate the latest joke and exchange our most recent funny experiences.

So, throughout this book, I could hear the author himself relate these short episodes in his inimitable fashion of a great raconteur. Borg gives colour to what others may consider dull. He injects humour where others may pull a long face. What a gift from God!

Humour is badly needed within the political circle, both for the benefit of the politicians themselves and for the many boring thousands who take politics far too seriously and who allow no space for any camaraderie with the lesser mortals of the other side.

An unexpected, but most welcome, reaction to the normally dry world of politics

A quick glance at some of the anecdotes would help give a taster of this book. An excellent one relates when the past President George Abela was hospitalised during his state visit to China. While in hospital, he needed to relieve himself, so his assistant referred to a Chinese nurse that the president wanted “to pass some water”. Back came the surprising answer, “No problem. Fizzy or still?”.

Then there is the one where a female Nationalist Party supporter told the newly-elected leader, Simon Busuttil, that her child was so infatuated with him that, when told to pray and love Mary, Joseph and... the child immediately remarked, “Not Joseph. Only Simon”.

Paul Borg Olivier fought for every vote so, when during a home visit, the old lady of the house asked him to wash her false teeth since her carer had not arrived, he humbly acceded to her request, hoping that such a daring act would not be forgotten on Election Day. He still wonders.

The very young Ian Borg, now parliamentary secretary, was shocked during a home visit when he offered a card with his photo to an old lady who looked dearly at the picture and remarked, “What a pity he died so young!”.

We read how, for the sake of gaining a vote, Francis Zammit Dimech suffered being licked by a dog throughout a home visit and, in another instance had to take care of an old, bedridden man while the daughter left home to shop.

I also love the Flaminio Piccoli story. Flaminio was the secretary of the Italian Christian Democratic Party. He was visiting Malta to support the Nationalist Party, when a Maltese supporter went up to him and chummily greeted him, “You ok, Flamingo?”.

Former president George Abela helped an inmate from the Correctional Facility by offering him some work as plasterer in the presidential palace. The president showed him the wall surrounding the palace and asked him to offer his services, to which the poor man answered, “Mr President, I only have a year left in prison, not a lifetime”.

The jokes continue along this vein. There are loads more and all are related in a simple, effective manner à la Tonio Borg. I am very impressed with the generous amount and high quality of the cartoons accompanying the text. They are drawn by Mark Schembri, whom I have not yet had the privilege of knowing. All his work is excellent and very mature. I am truly and genuinely impressed.

The book also has a political glossary with some tongue-in-cheek definitions, such as “a point of order”, namely a convenient way to interrupt a speaker during a parliamentary debate, until it is clear that it is no point of order at all.

I recommend this book, which makes the reader laugh, chuckle and smile. What an unexpected, but most welcome, reaction to the normally dry and, alas, too often unfriendly world of politics.