Dr Manuel Mallia, formerly Minister of State for Home Affairs, National Security, Catering and Public Entertainment, was interviewed* by your intrepid blogger.

How do you feel now that you are on the back benches, less than two years after taking the oath as a minister?

It is a relief, now I have time to plan my come back, which I didn't have before.

How do you mean, plan your come back, did you know you were set to be booted out?  No-one needs time to plan a come back when they're not going anywhere, do they?

Well, you know, when one says "plan a comeback" one means, sort of a caldo, it's bit like saying a phrase with "own back" in it, rather than actually making a come back, you know, innit?

Let's leave that aside, do you have anything you want to say about the events  that led to the Prime Minister firing you?

Well, he didn't actually fire me, he asked for my resignation ... which he knew I wasn't going to give him because the Board he set up to report on my actions found me innocent, pure as the driven snow.  With a finding like that, how could he expect me to resign?

Actually, I meant about the shooting incident itself and your relationship with the accused, do you have any comment about that?

Well, listen, OK, siehbi, I didn't know him before he was lucky enough to be made my driver.  All those pictures of me at boxing matches with him in the frame are entirely circumstantial, everyone knows that in places like boxing matches there's half Malta, so it would have been surprising if there wasn't a picture of me with Sheehan in the vicinity, OK, siehbi?

I suppose you're going to say that you're such a good judge of character that you left your young daughter with someone you had known for a few months, are you?

Yes, OK, siehbi, after all, if the Prime Minister can trust his own kids to be taken to school with flashing lights and cops all over the place, I think it's OK, siehbi, if I leave my children with who I want.

When do you think you will be making your come back, then?  

Well, OK, siehbi, I will be doing what I need to do when the time is right.  At the moment, OK, siehbi, the Prime Minister is doing other things, so it might soon be time.  Or it might not, the ball is in my hands, now.

What do you think about the people he sent to defend you on Xarabank, Dr Toni Abela and Jeffrey Pullicino Orlando?

OK, siehbi, issa daqshekk, this interview is at an end, do you think I'm totally stupid, to try and second guess the Prime Minister?  He thought it would be a good idea to send those two, like he thought it was a good idea to shove those three into a Board to make a report on me.  He knows what he is doing, the Prime Minister, and he is clever enough to see what the consequences are for every one, including himself.

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*This is imaginary, I feel I should point out, as some people still take this stuff literally even after some twenty years plus of reading me.

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