Class of 1938 at St Bernice’s School for Young Ladies joyous reunion
The girls of Form 5A at St Bernice’s School for Young Ladies, San Ġwann met up recently in the communal hall at the Last Pit-Stop Retirement Home, for a joyous reunion, after all these years.
And... both of the two surviving members agreed, it was a meeting long overdue. At least that’s what Rachel Azzopardi Grout opined. It was less clear what her former classmate Muriel Hawkins (née Muscat Delvigne) thought, since she appeared to spend nine tenths of the reunion either asleep or in the Ladies WC.
Nevertheless, these true survivors were served an appetising meal of Complan and Horlicks, before reminiscing or rambling for – what seemed like hours – before Ms Azzopardi Grout retired to bed and Ms Hawkins was put back in the ambulance. And a jolly good time was had by all... well by one of them at least... we think.
Ripoff Homes Real Estate Ltd celebrate five whole years of exceptional growth coupled with negligible service
The management and staff of Ripoff Homes Real Estate Ltd, San Ġwann, recently held a reception in the Gastroentero Hall of the Grand Hotel Opulenta, to mark five whole years of exceptional growth and negligible service. Ripoff Homes Real Estate Ltd, San Ġwann pride themselves on being the market leader in Malta’s ever-competitive real estate jungle. In a speech to directors and staff at the reception, managing director Ignacius Steppenwulf Gatt (the prematurely balding dwarf, pictured above 32nd from the left) opined that: “Ripoff Homes Real Estate Ltd, San Ġwann’s pre-eminence in what is essentially a cutthroat business is down to a harmonious blend of ruthlessness and bull****. Both being essential elements in any modern day estate agency.”
After small eats and fizzy screech, the guests applauded as the wife of the managing director, Mrs Clarice Steppenwulf Gatt was presented with a beautiful bouquet of flowers by youngest employee Stacey Manicaro Tedesco, on the behalf of some of the staff members.
With nobody left to patronise, the joyous gathering finally broke up at 7.45pm and everybody went home.
The Malta branch of Misandry International will be holding a meeting in the Ellen DeGeneres Hall, San Gwann next Tuesday
Prestigious fashion show at Sanitato Palace Hotel
All of Malta’s premiere fashionistas were present recently in the Colostomy Suite of the Sanitato Palace Hotel for a prestigious fashion show by Malta’s foremost designer, Graziella Plank Degorgio (pictured above seventh from the left... amid a group of about 16 vacuous looking females, leering at the camera). (Why do they allow themselves – week after week – to look such utter pillocks on the pages of this newspaper? Rhetorical question.)
After a much appreciated showing of last year’s styles, the appreciative audience were treated to the sight of Graziella on the catwalk, to take the somewhat muted applause. Proceeds from the fashion show will be donated to the Graziella Plank Degorgio fund for underwhelming design skills.
For your diary
Next Sunday, why not visit the Corradino Correctional Facility Christmas Fayre. Where you can choose from a vast selection of seasonal recreational products. Visit our cake stall and try some of Slugger Schembri’s famous hash cakes... then pass by our plant stall and pick up a few seedlings – and be well on your way to growing your own pot.
Open between 8.45am and 9.15am.
Hurry along to avoid disappointment.
The San Gwann winter sports enthusiasts club, San Gwann will hold a ski-athon on the slopes of Mount Magħtab next Sunday... skid-off at 9am. All are welcome: Bring your own snow.
The Malta branch of Misandry International will be holding a meeting in the Ellen DeGeneres Hall, San Ġwann next Tuesday. The meeting will be addressed by chairlady Ms Mildred Xerri de Paulle, on the subject: All men are bastards.
Refreshments will be served afterwards in the bomb shelter.
All are welcome... except men of course.
Please note
Chevalier and Mrs Damien Grope Grech wish to advise all friends, relatives and valued patrons of Grope Grech Paris Mode Ltd, that they will not be sending Christmas cards this year; nor will they be making a donation to charity in lieu. This is in view of the fact that their daughter Rebecca got married earlier this year and the €50 grand plus that it cost them, effectively cleaned them out... and some.