Are we in December or is this September all over again? Not only hasn’t there been any hint of winter as yet, but even worse, this has been a long stretch of humid weather the likes of which we only see at the end of summer. It’s riħ isfel weather.
I love the term ‘riħ isfel’. It’s ever so loaded. It’s more than a description of humid, sticky climatic conditions brought upon us by the vaguely southeasternly wind. For us, it is almost a way of being, a lifestyle. I strongly suspect that it is what makes us, us.
Here is a typical conversation in the Maltese islands. You step outside, your neighbour, at her door, will acknowledge the new morning with a nod.
Neighbour: “Riħ isfel illum” [south wind today]
You: “Iva marelli”[very true]
Neighbour: “M’hemmx li jgħaddi”[It looks like it’s going to stay like this]
You: “Veru, għandna sa Frar qed jgħidu” [True, they’re saying it’s like this till February]
Riħ isfel is a conversation opener, a concept which bonds us: whichever political party, whichever football team, whichever village feast you side with – everyone is always united against the riħ isfel. No one wants it; everyone hates it.
I always nod sagely, with one knowledgeable raised eyebrow, when someone tells me it’s riħ isfel. However, the truth is I have no clue how to tell it apart from riħ fuq. I just assume it’s a south wind when I wake up with my hair like a frizz ball, plastered in the shape of a triangle. When I am the one to suggest that it’s riħ isfel, I am always told: “Le! Anzi, illum riħ fuq” (“no actually it’s the opposite”). Clearly my bad hair days are not indicative of the weather.
I tend to think that over the centuries the Maltese character has been nurtured and formed around this weather. Everyone is in some form of foul mood when it’s riħ isfel.
This is the weather that causes or amplifies our sinusitis, headaches, migraines, aches and pains in the joints, back ache, sciatica and what not. I only realised how much we blame our ailments on the weather when last time my daughter, whose foot was aching with minor bout of pins and needles, told me: “Mama, is it because it’s riħ isfel?”
We are mostly a nation of moaners because of this south wind
Last week I concluded that we are mostly a nation of moaners because of this south wind. We like discussing and intersecting our ailments. Our hellos are almost always followed by an ajma! and a x’uġigħ. It’s our national way of greeting each other: comparing and contrasting our various aches and pains.
I also think the humidity and the damp air we live and breathe is what gives us that Mediterranean lazy twist. It is why we think short-term – we’re desperate to get something over and done with, even though it’s not perfect – because the weather makes us lethargic. We can blame riħ isfel for all the ‘Uijja…tgħaddi’ that we utter.
And it makes us so tired that we can barely focus on what is happening around us, let alone around the world – which is why we end up thinking that Malta is the centre of the world, and that “The Maltese people are the best in the world”, as the President’s spokesperson myopically claimed on television last week.
This riħ isfel makes us more insular than we already are; which in turn fans the macho culture of ‘Youtalkingtome, eh? eh?’
It is also the reason behind our temper. If everything is sticky, and you have a pounding headache, and you can’t stop blowing your nose, then everything will be amplified. Add to that the fact that our hair is limp, our faces are full of open pores, we constantly need to wax our legs, and even though in our 30s, we still have the odd spot here and there: that’s all thanks to the humidity.
No wonder there is less road rage in the Scandinavian countries. And no wonder there are 200,000 hairdresser and beauty salons for all 400,000 of us.
Take note next time that your neighbour tells you it’s riħ fuq. You will notice that everyone is somewhat chirpier at work, that everyone looks prettier and everyone is funnier and more lovely-dovey.
I propose that as a nation, we ought to make a collective Christmas wish: for the riħ isfel to be replaced by northwest winds. What a change in the nation’s character that would bring about; why, we’d almost be a veritable Switzerland in the Mediterranean.
krischetcuti@gmail.com
Twitter: @KrisChetcuti