Stand-up comic Bec Hill is flushed after one of her gags was named the number one toilet joke.
She beat figures such as Arthur Smith, Lucy Porter and Milton Jones as her contribution was put on a pedestal in a poll by charity Water Aid to celebrate World Toilet Day.
Hill trumped the others with her entry: “For Christmas last year I got given Sudoku toilet paper. It’s useless. You can only fill it in with number ones and number twos.”
The public voted for their favourite toilet-related jokes from 15 comedy figures, with Matt Forde ranking number two and poet John Cooper Clarke third.
‘Poo power’ to run mobile devices
Faeces could be used to power a future generation of mobile phones, according to scientists.
Researchers have found a natural process which occurs within bacteria that could help improve “bio batteries”.
It is hoped the discovery could produce energy for portable technology, such as mobiles, tablets and laptops. The study from the University of East Anglia focused on how electrons cross bacterial proteins.
Pope raffles off his unwanted gifts
Pope Francis is raffling dozens of gifts he has been given during his short papacy, including a new Fiat 4x4, some bikes and a fancy coffee-maker, with the proceeds going to charity.
The Vatican City State administration put up posters around the district advertising the €10 per ticket raffle. Tickets are on sale at the Vatican post office, pharmacy and other venues open to the public. Winners will be announced on January 8.
Francis, known for his simplicity, has overhauled the Vatican’s finances to make them more efficient and to devote more money to charity. The raffle is part of that effort, making sure gifts for which the Pope has no use are used to help the needy.
Show host’s suit stunt causes stink
The male co-host of an Australian TV programme is finally getting some attention for his fashion sense – and that’s his point.
Karl Stefanovic wore the same blue suit every day for a year on Channel Nine’s Today programme, and no one noticed until he went public with his experiment.
He told Australia’s Fairfax Media that people regularly commented on outfits worn by co-host Lisa Wilkinson.
He said: “I’m judged on my interviews, my appalling sense of humour – on how I do my job, basically. Whereas women are quite often judged on what they’re wearing or how their hair is.”
The Age newspaper says he is still wearing the same suit. “They often remark that it’s getting a bit stinky. I’m hoping to get it into the dry cleaners at the end of the year,” he said.
Comedy guru rescues a ‘gay’ bull
A “gay” bull has been saved from slaughter after the terminally ill co-creator of The Simpsons donated thousands towards its rescue.
Benjy, a Charolais in County Mayo, Ireland, was being fattened for the butcher after his farmer owner complained he was not sexually interested in cows. His plight came to the attention of animal activists, who said he was more interested in bulls, through a local newspaper report.
After launching a fundraising drive to save Benjy, Sam Simon, the Hollywood producer behind The Simpsons and other hit comedy series, including Cheers and Taxi, stumped up the £5,000 (€6,242) needed to buy the bull.