A funny little article in Times of Malta states that: “Teachers in State schools are now obliged to report cases of bullying to a staff member” in order to “adopt a zero tolerance and proactive attitude towards bullying by strengthening the values of respect”.

Besides expecting teachers to rat children out to the school’s senior management – arguably the biggest bully of them all – this new proposal is wrong because it upsets the delicate ecology and pecking order of the schoolyard. Bullies may very well be mangled human slime but they are necessary to the school’s ecosystem in that they keep the rest of the kids lean, mean and on their toes.

A school without bullies is like a Libya without Muammar Gaddafi, a fractured nation with a broken infrastructure which has all but lost control of its internal affairs.

Bullies relate many unwritten truths to the kids under their ‘tutelage’, that it is not OK to be weak, slow or childish, that cry-babies and canaries will be punished severely and that respect must be earned and not just given away because some government egghead on a wellness, diversity and equality binge came up with a new PowerPoint presentation.

Respect on the schoolyard is won through street-smarts, accomplishments or feats of strength, all of which are eminently applicable to real life and which might well be the only marketable skills that school will ever teach our young ‘uns.

All the rest is just grist to keep junior occupied while mom and pops work hard to be able to afford the new iPhone 6 and that trip to Disney World which they’ve always been promising.