An article in a recent issue of Times of Malta rather grabbed my attention. At first I thought it must be a spoof piece – I even checked the calendar to make sure it was not April 1st.

While keeping a completely straight face it informed me that: “The oldest generating plant at the Marsa power station is to be preserved.” Presumably as some sort of museum exhibit.

I have just one question: Why? It’s not as if it’s unique or beautiful. It’s an ugly, obsolete piece of electricity-generating machinery housed in a repellently dirty, dull, functional building.

So it’s the oldest one in Malta, does that make it worthy of preservation? I think not.

In fact, as far as I’m concerned, it is one of the many constructions on our islands that could greatly benefit from the close attentions of a wrecking ball and a bulldozer. It’s not hideous, it’s just deeply uninteresting... even to an electrical engineer. I know, I asked one.

Can you imagine some poor PR dimwit trying – and failing – to make it sound worth visiting?

“Here we see a fascinating example of mid-20th century industrial architecture, which... believe it or not... houses a deliriously captivating example of electricity-generating machinery. I’ll just give you a second or two to gasp in wonderment.”

One thing is certain, it will be something of a hard sell for the advertising department of the Malta Tourism Authority:

“Come to sunny Malta for sun, sea and a wildly exciting 1940s electricity-generating plant. Why waste your time visiting boring Florence or dreary London, when you can be overawed by obsolete technology.”

Yes, that’s going to be a tough one.

I mean, come on: It’s a bit like Rome city council issuing tourism literature extolling the virtues of the main bus and coach station, at the expense of, say, the Coliseum.

Or the mayor of Paris blagging-up the delights of the city’s sewage processing unit while ignoring the Louvre. Ridiculous.

Just think for a moment: how the hell are they going to make a visit to a clapped-out power generating plant a seductive proposition for your average tourist?

Will we see the Marsa xatt sprouting bouncy castles

Are they going to turn the site into some sort of down-market Disney World? Build a massive four-star hotel, The Grand Hotel Grid? Splatter the area with restaurants and night clubs “Come to the Sparks nightclub” for an electrifying evening’s entertainment.

And what about the kiddywinks? Will we see the Marsa xatt sprouting bouncy castles and face painting, with scary clowns in attendance?

Or will they go one better and construct a whole new luna park on the rest of the site, with death-defying rides and candy floss? Ludicrous or what?

But it did make me wonder what next? I mean, in the interests of Tagħna lkoll – (and how much has that become devalued) – are we going to see Mount Magħtab declared a World Heritage site?

Or the Tarzna touted as one of the wonders of the modern world? Following on from the Marsa power station nonsense, it wouldn’t surprise me one little bit.

I can see the guide now, leading a group of starry-eyed Japanese punters around our greatest tourist attraction... the Għajn Dwieli megalith:

“Ladies and gentlemen, you are actually looking at number 9,682 on the list of modern world wonders.

“Please feel free to gawp at the fascinating juxtaposition of office buildings to the drydocks themselves. Gasp in sheer wonderment at the depth and scope of each individual drydock. Scratch your heads in awe at the practised dexterity of the Tarzna timekeeper as he clocks the eager employees in and out.”

Imagine some poor kid arriving back home in Baden Baden or Bromsgrove, getting asked what he did on his holidays. I’m sure the poor little bleeder would be utterly thrilled to report that he’d spent it scrutinising a disabled power-generating plant... Whoop de doo!

No really, I’ve seen and heard some pretty idiotic premises in my time, but this really does take the biscuit.

One last thought: If the government is still wondering what to do with the former St Luke’s Hospital, maybe they could develop that as a tourist attraction as well? No, I don’t think I’m even going to go there.