I borrowed a car last week and you know what that’s like. When you’re driving someone else’s car, you can never let loose and get comfortable. I found myself hesitant and uneasy – reluctant to rearrange the rear view mirror, recline the seat or press any sort of button on the dashboard, lest I inadvertently set off the rear wiper blades and wasn’t able to put a stop to that grating, hollow noise.

The whole time, it felt like I was sitting on some sort of pedestal, bolt upright, too close to the steering wheel, with my face practically eating the windscreen. And yet, I held out, pointedly refusing to make any changes. I kept postponing the agony, telling myself it was only for another day or two.

On the upside, I did a lot of listening to Radio 101, which made a change from Magic Malta. The radio station stayed put and I never attempted to zap or flick through. I am now in a position to report that Simon Busuttil is acing his private lessons in public speaking and delivery. He’s brand new and improved, fresh, bold and dynamic. It’s all coming together, ticking along nicely. The Opposition leader may have finally landed and come into his own.

I listened, mesmerised, half-hoping some self-declared Nationalist caller would phone in and disagree – it wouldn’t have quite the same effect if the caller hailed from the other side. And not because I wanted anyone to disagree, either. Not remotely, in fact. I just find partisan radio and TV stations – on both sides – a lot nauseating and freaky. They terrify me – for lack of a better word. In the same way Pastor Gordon Manché ‘terrifies’ me. Perhaps the problem is with me – perhaps I’m not very good with absolutes and adulation.

It would be so much better and more convincing, if, from time to time, these stations criticised, challenged, disapproved and made you sit up and really pay attention. Instead of constantly fawning over their own, using that very low-register conspiratorial hypnotic voice which undoubtedly has the ability to brainwash and convince the crowds and callers.

You know, once in a while, instead of being predictably self-serving, One should be the first with the bad news about Joseph Muscat’s failure to deliver on his gas promise; about the not so smart deal he struck with the Armier boathouse meters. That would really take the wind out of Net’s and (the Nats) sail. And vice-versa with Net of course. But, I suppose, it’s just not in either of their DNA – they just wouldn’t know where to start.

In fact, the most interesting part of the talk show, which certainly knocked me out of my stupor, was the announcement that Eileen Montestin was on next, with her own music programme. Now, I am well aware that Montestin has shed numerous layers of her political past. Still, I had to do a double take and ensure I hadn’t accidentally hit the radio and changed the station while shifting gear.

Radio 101 is Monica Attard’s domain – not Montesin’s. Yes, sadly and all these years later, Montesin on 101 still manages to provoke shock and incredulity, even in someone like me, who ultimately applauds this sort of ceasefire and cross party neutrality.

Now, whether you love or loathe her, Montesin is very watchable, engaging and magnetic, with strong communication skills. And the reason she works so well and has stood the test of time is because she has never tried to be anyone, but herself.

I have always had a lot of time for her – even when, she had a stint on TV, promoting ‘Petals’, a very gaudylooking, gilt-edged tea-set I was not remotely interested in purchasing. Although I didn’t identify with her or the tea-set, she still had the ability to hold me rapt for hours.

And that is the mark of any good politician – the ability to reach out and touch people who don’t necessarily identify with your politics. And the way to do that is by remembering rule 101 – the easiest and most convincing person to be is yourself. If you can’t be confrontational, don’t be. Otherwise you risk pushing the wrong buttons.

It’s probably why Karmenu Vella faired rather well despite his wholly unremarkable performance in Brussels. There was something very real and genuine about it all. In a world of affected accents, fakes and frauds, people appreciate those who dare to be themselves.

Simon Busuttil is brand new and improved, fresh, bold and dynamic

I’m happy to hear that Busuttil is sounding less cardboard-ey and more convincing. A couple of months ago, I told someone that he needed to gain at least 10 pounds, if he wanted to be taken seriously. It might sound absurd and I know Busuttil wouldn’t relish that sort of ‘food for thought’. But physical and personal presence has a lot to do with weight and stature. If you want to sound weighty and substantial, you can’t look like you might just snap in half, any second.

If you want to throw your weight around, you have to have the weight to throw around. It’s not even about height, because, if it were, we’d have a problem. We’re a vertically challenged nation – George Borg Olivier, Guido de Marco, Eddie Fenech Adami, Lawrence Gonzi, Dom Mintoff – you can hardly accuse any of them of being statuesque. But they all sounded much bigger than they really were.

I still haven’t heard the new Simon, but if there’s something I have long maintained, it’s that Busuttil shouldn’t try to emulate or borrow anyone else’s image or style because it looks and sounds painful, uncomfortable and unauthentic. When Karmenu Mifsud Bonnici (ordinarily soft-spoken and gentle) tried to be his predecessor, he wound up looking and sounding completely crazy.

In trying to be Mintoff, he earned himself a place as Malta’s most unhinged prime minister. Certain things, like cars, toothbrushes books and personas, have got to be yours – to own, not borrow.

michelaspiteri@gmail.com