Nowadays, social media sites and the web in general have all but replaced the entertainment that was traditionally provided purely by television channels and video rental outlets (hey, remember those?).
Want to watch old re-runs of Yes, Minister? No problem, a gazillion sites – including the ever-trusty YouTube – will oblige. Your favourite band’s new video? There’s Vimeo, uncensored.
Feel like catching up with the news in that quaint village you once visited in Ireland? The internet is your friend and will give you everything from the weather forecast to a blow-by-blow account of the smallest traffic accident.
If dogs walking into glass doors and cats giving their owners dirty looks is more your thing, you don’t even need to wait for the funny videos to be aired on Paperissima, as used to be the case before. That’s what your internet connection is for.
In short, you can quite easily survive very happily without a television set or a network subscription nowadays and you’d be surprised at the amount of people that actually do this. Which is why I tend to include not only television-related stuff on this column, but anything that falls underneath the umbrella of pop culture. We must, after all, move with the times (OK, shoot me now if puns are not your thing).
Today, however, I don’t bring you the latest thing to go viral on the cyberwaves. Instead, I bring you my top peeves when it comes to internet sharing – or, over-sharing.
Starting with what I like to call The Media Suckers, or those who will fall for any piece of sensational news irrespectively of its source. They’re the ones who lower the tone of your Twitter feed with links like ‘UFO spotted in your aunt’s backyard’ and ‘Dead people resurrect in tribal village’.
Whenever anyone posts one of these links, I tend to click ‘unfollow’ faster than Wile Coyote paints fake tunnels.
Hint to the Media Suckers – if the source is some obscure website you’ve never heard of, it’s unlikely to be providing any real ‘breaking news’. Same applies to Fox News and The Daily Mirror – in this case you just need to subtract 75 per cent from whatever they report.
Second on the list of peeves – The Pseudo Philosopher. You know the one I mean; his feed is usually littered with deep observations on the meaning of life.
You can easily survive without a television set or a network subscription nowadays
Only thing is, he usually forgets to attribute his quote to its rightful owner, presumably in the hope that we are left impressed by his depth of thought. Nope, we’re not falling for that one buddy. Side-note – if you quote Paolo Coelho, even if you attribute it, you’re definitely getting unfollowed.
Third on the list are The Over-Sharers. These are the ones who will give you all the personal details of their life, relationship, career... whatever. Put a lid on it please.
Most of us want a carefully-curated feed with links to stuff that is actually interesting/ intelligent/witty. Your boyfriend cooking dumplings for you doesn’t qualify.
Finally, the Drama Queens. Their feed is a list of grievances and they will tell you exactly how they have been backstabbed, had their rights trampled upon and been betrayed by friends all the time. Nothing good ever happens in their lives. Well, guess what? We don’t want to hear about your constant, imagined misfortunes either.
And yeah, I’ve probably been guilty of every single one of the above myself at least once in my life. Unfollow, fast.
ramona.depares@timesofmalta.com