Something I read in the blog of one of the few surviving Opposition supporters has touched a nerve. She – for it was a she – had the brass nerve to suggest that my Jo-zeff, my hero, our charismatic and lovable leader... is getting to look more and more like Benito Mussolini every day. No way! Not even from upside down. Jo-zeff resembling that fascist swine? How dare she!
Looking again at the photo I can sort of understand how she... no, no way. Not Jo-zeff, his is a socialist profile... even if the photo is of him full face. The trouble is, those few Opposition stirrers just cannot get it into their heads that they are no longer in charge. So I say to them: Listen, we won and you lost... Get over it!
And now the b******* on the Opposition benches are trying to pin all the faults in the jerry-built Mater Dei Hospital on Jo-zeff and the government. Don’t they know who was actually responsible for it? Yes, that’s right... the other lot. So now poor, put-upon Jo-zeff has got to kiss it better... and he will, oh yes, no doubt about that, just you watch and learn.
But what about Jo-zeff’s latest triumph, with a little help from Joe Mizzi? I am, of course, referring to the brilliant coup they pulled off when they conned that provincial Spanish bus company to come and operate our system at hugely advantageous rates – to us naturally. And so what if the bus fares do rise astronomically? Since we came into power everybody has had so much more money in their pockets, it won’t matter. Oh yes, just one more example of the genius which is Jo-zeff. Prosit Ġuz and prosit again.
Have you noticed that the other lot have been very quiet lately about, probably Jo-zeff’s greatest triumph to date, ‘Passports for plutocrats’? Since all that lovely loot has started to pour into Malta’s exchequer it’s served two notable causes. First it has boosted both our country’s finances and our status in the world, to an all-time high.
So what if the bus fares do rise astronomically? Since we came into power everybody has had so much more money in their pockets
Secondly it has put to flight all those doubters and decriers of Jo-zeff’s Malta tagħna lkoll philosophy. And its financial benefits are already beginning to trickle down to the great unwashed populace: Where else did you think Con the con’s €25-a-head power cut compensation was coming from?
And things just seem to be getting better and better: For instance, I have to mention the statesmanlike and gracious way Jo-zeff handled the ‘celebrations’ for our so-called 50th independence anniversary – and note how the world, including the UK media, recorded the ease with which Jo-zeff controlled the visit of some minor British royal.
However, everybody knows that what GBO achieved in 1964 was totally trumped by the triumph of Is-Salvatur in 1979. That, my friends, was true independence. My parents were among the thousands who crowded onto the bastions way back then, as the last colonial inquisitor steamed away from our shores with his tail firmly between his legs. “Good riddance!” And: “Viva Is-Salvatur!” They all shouted as Malta, at long last, became truly free.
And finally, what do you think of Jo-zeff’s latest triumph? Yes, I am referring to the way he brilliantly manipulated the EU system to get the environment portfolio for Malta. What a coup, eh! And in Il-Guy we’ve got the right man for the job of Environment Commissioner, and no mistake. Besides, there was no way Jo-zeff was going to leave him in the Cabinet any longer than was absolutely necessary.
I mean... would you have done any differently? I know I wouldn’t. And I’m sure he’ll make a decent fist of his new job. If he needs any help or advice, there’s always Johnny D hovering in the background to pass on a tip or two. Especially now that he’s finally seen sense and thrown his not inconsiderable weight behind Jo-zeff and the party. Yet another flash of the genius that is our very own charismatic and lovable leader... Jo-zeff.
Comments:
‘A friend in low places’ writes:
As Alfred Sant almost said: “Go Backbencher, give ’em hell!”
Nasty Nat writes:
I feel a nasty bout of bulk-buying coming on.