The elderly are rarely involved in defining active ageing policies. Policymakers often have clear visions of what they perceive to be the needs of older people. In most cases their prescriptions for healthy living in the latter years of life are well intentioned and quite viable. But what really matters is what the elderly themselves have to say on what makes them tick.
I occasionally listen in to phone-in radio programmes, especially when caught up in one of the many traffic jams most of us have to experience on a regular basis. A sample of the gripes that seem to worry our older persons include the increasing practice of ‘priests not wearing the dog collar when appearing on TV programmes’, the long waiting time to get an appointment for a medical service in Mater Dei, and the bad state of pavements in our towns and villages. Of course, those who participate in phone-in programmes are not a fair sample of the local ‘grey brigade’ that is becoming larger every year.
Recently the Irish Times carried a very interesting series of features called Generations. A journalist interviewed a number of older people in their 70s and 80s to discover how they viewed their life today as compared to their younger days. I found these interviews most interesting because I see so many similarities in Maltese and Irish societies.
Dan Gallagher, 87, is a retired civil servant who now lives in Tipperary with his wife Brenda. He describes himself as a practising Catholic.
“Brenda and I go to Mass every morning, and then we go swimming. We have always loved swimming. I do think there’s a very strong possibility that there’s an afterlife of some form. I go to Mass every morning, partly to see who’s still alive, but partly in case there is a hereafter. I suppose you could say I have a bet on both horses. Sometimes I feel like death is the end of it.”
Who could deny that the afterlife is one of the mysteries we struggle with at various stages in our lives?
Vincent Buckley, 87, was a farmer. He is a widower as his wife Maureen died in 1997. In his interview he brings out the deep sadness of those who after decades of living with their partner suddenly find themselves facing a bleak future on their own.
The courses that are being given by the powers that be to older people, they are often so patronising. Please don’t sit us in a corner and teach us how to knit
“Maureen died in 1997. She had Alzheimer’s. I still miss her. For yearafterwards I’d be out somewhere and I’d think, I must tell Maureen about that, and then I’d remember. I had to learn to cook when she wasn’t able to do it anymore, and I’m a reasonably good cook now. Stews are easy to make, and they last. I can cook steak and chops.”
While the sadness of living alone is evident, so is the optimistic outlook of this elderly gentleman.
Eilish Cullen, 75, lives in Dublin. She worked all her live in low-paid jobs and regrets some of the decisions she made when younger. “My biggest regret in life is taking up smoking.”And she still smokes today. But she never runs herself down.
“Ageism in society is very destructive. When you look at the courses that are being given by the powers that be to older people, they are often so patronising. Please don’t sit us in a corner and teach us how to knit. Recognise our wisdom and experience and talent instead. Make people more self-reliant. I don’t think it is useful for everything to be done for people as they get older. Everyone wants to be 75 but nobody wants to be old.”
Nuala McCarthy, 72, has lived most of her life working abroad, especially in the US. She returned to Dublin for health reasons but found it hard to integrate again in today’s Irish society. She is happier now.
“I’m surrounded by friends who are young – not in age but in mentality. I try to avoid people who pull me down. When you get to my age you don’t have that need to be liked, so I choose my friends, and the friends I have are all positive encouraging types of people. I think older people need to be more assertive about the way society treats them. We are patronised. For instance, this talk about ‘silver surfers’ on computers. I find this very patronising.”
Active ageing policymakers will do well to listen more to their clients – the elderly.
johncassarwhite@yahoo.com