In the wake of the government’s recent publishing of the autumn hunting regulations, Sylvanus today brings you the thoughts and muses of my very good friend, Leli il-kaċċatur.

Leli belongs to that much maligned fraternity, the Maltese hunters. And he appealed to me to submit for your approval and understanding his heartfelt plea to be both accepted and... yes, loved.

Leli is a gentle soul, or so he tells me – except when he’s in hot pursuit of a golden oriole, or when he manages to get a honey buzzard in the sights of his extremely expensive Purdy 12-bore, over-and-under shotgun.

But read his story and let your heart melt as he puts his – and maybe some other hunters’ – most persuasive side of the story:

“Lissen, jien I am sicked and tired of peoples... many peoples saying me they want to stop from me making my hobby... is it!

“See I is hunter, even my Pa – she was hunter and even my nannu she been one. Nobody tell to them to stop from it – and nobody... not even il-gvern is going to stop me from making from it... OK!

“U eva, I seen they bring it on The Times how some peoples want to take it from me my hobby. Imma ħa ngħidlekk, not even God Almighty will do so... smajt?

“Even they make it the partixion(sic), sign it 40 millions pairsins xi ħaġa... so we make it the even biggest partixion, make from it 140 million names from it.

“And believe me it’s not true our partixion got maked-up names from it... u le! She is a true partixion and will make the ministair give to us from our rights bil forz... ażgur!

“And he who says lies that the flamenco (sic) in my vetrina gone shooted dead by me, is a liar, as the Lord is my witnesses. And even if I did gone shoot it, I didn’t done so at Salina, like they say me I done, I shooted it at sea, where they can’t say you done wrong... eh!

And he who says lies that the flamenco (sic) in my vetrina gone shooted dead by me, is a liar

“And ħa ngħidlekk, if someone try to take it my flamenco from my vetrina I swear I kill him ta! Imma not the flamenco I gonna kill, għax he already gone dead, I mean he who try to rob me from it.

“Mind, I don’t shoot no more from buzzards, hawks and songing birds... and it not għax I got enough from them in my vetrina.

“Imma jien, I don’t know how got all them buzzards, hawks and songing birds into my vetrina... ħuq! They just did eh. One day I got down from the bed and I find my vetrina full from them. Magic jew?

“Le, todays I am respons... repsons... nice hunter, like Mr Farrugia say we must be eh.

“So todays... and tomorrows I only ki – hunt from birds what Mr Farrugia say is good to ki – hunt. Even though I don’t know what is these birds... still I only shoot from them, imma not from the ones I mhux surposst to shoot from... even though I don’t know what they is neither.

“Imma since come it the gvern ġdid, they say us we can ki – hunt how much we want.

“So I think she is good – this gvern eh.

“Even il-Prim Ministru say us we can do whatever we like, so long as we don’t shoot from peoples... even peoples who shout with us.

“So I think she is good this prim ministru eh.

“Mind, all politixxins is nice with us għax they has to be eh. Every gvern know they must stay sew with us hunters... inkella we send them out from the gvern and bring it a new one... so we can do whatever we like and everybody know so.

“So this what every peoples fil Malta u Għawdex must speak from. We are going to make hunting for ever ta... so daqshekk. X’afarjed dawn!”

How could anyone fail to respond to the heartfelt emotions of that?

Bless you Leli. A true gentleman and a slaughterer supreme.