In another feature examining depression and suicide following the death of comedian Robin Williams, Times of Malta looks at the impact on relatives, their own need for support and what they can do to help.

Comedian Robin Williams was found dead last week. Photo: ReutersComedian Robin Williams was found dead last week. Photo: Reuters

Relatives of suicide victims should absolutely not feel guilty as the act is most often a symptom of a mental illness that takes over rational thinking, psychiatrist Anton Grech has advised, following the death of popular comedian Robin Williams.

“Although family members will look for a reason that led to their relative taking his or her life, most often there is none as suicide is triggered by distorted thinking,” he told this newspaper.

Usually taboo, suicide is currently on everyone’s lips, tablets and TV screens, and experts worldwide are reportedly worried that the media coverage of Williams’s death might trigger some to seek a tragic solution to a temporary problem.

The National Suicide Prevention Line in the US received more calls than usual on Tuesday, when the news broke. Some oversimplified the reasons he took his life, others glamorised and romanticised the incident while Fox News host Shepard Smith went so far as to call the actor a “coward”.

“At this point we need to admire Williams who, despite his suffering, was talented enough to bring joy to others,” Dr Grech said.

Despite his suffering he was talented enough to bring joy to others

“The final act is neither heroic nor cowardly. We still need to get the facts right but most probably it was an act caused by an illness. Mental illness does not have social strata or gender and it can affect anyone.”

Most suicides result from depression, he said, and one of the symptoms is distorted thinking. When a person is in deep depression, they feel they are a burden on others even though this is not the case.

When it is very severe, it is difficult to reason them out of it and ideally the relatives should speak to the family’s GP.

In cases of severe emergency, a psychiatrist from the Crisis Intervention Team provides help between 7am and 7pm at the Emergency Department at Mater Dei Hospital.

The need to seek a GP’s help was reiterated by clinical psychologist Rose Galea, who said that depressed people often did not have the energy to look for help.

“If your loved one is resistant to getting help, you need to firmly, but gently, remind them that, as bad as it may feel at a given time, depression tends to pass.

“Suicidal thoughts always pass. They may return, but you have to have the courage to wait until they go away and get the support needed during this time,” she said.

Suicide is a devastating loss for families – unimaginable to most, she said. “For the loved ones left behind, part of the agony is dealing with the questions and thoughts about the suffering that preceded that final act.

“They are condemned to imagine the horror and agony in a way that is very different from dealing with the loss of a loved one that most people experience.”

Along with the usual grief surrounding sudden death, dealing with suicide usually involves guilt, shame, anger and feelings of rejection. The stigma that surrounds suicide, especially those linked to mental illness, is “very real”.

Many are unsure how to approach a bereaved family.  These families need support and compassion as suicide, she added, can be very difficult to share with friends.

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