This season I’ve left nothing to chance in my quest for the perfect set of predictions.

I’ve done my research, studied the transfer market, observed the managers, reviewed pre-season form and analysed the squads that make up the 20 teams in this year’s Premier League.

Yet, despite all that effort, much of which was carried out without the safety net of alcohol, you can rest assured I will still get some/most/all of them wrong.

It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.

Arsenal

Arsenal fans have not had a whole lot to shout about in recent seasons, but it appears the tide may be turning. The club backed up May’s FA Cup victory by lifting the Community Shield last week and there is now a genuine buzz of anticipation at the Emirates. But while I would certainly back Arsenal to pick up more silverware over the next 10 months, I don’t think a sustained title challenge is totally realistic at this point.

Having said that, if everything gels from day one they could be the dark horses in the race. Talking of gel, could this be the season when Olivier Giroud’s hair finally gets messy? Don’t put money on it.

Key player: Mesut Ozil. After a bit of an indifferent first season in England, it is time for the German to show what he is really capable of.

Final position: 3rd

Aston Villa

For the most part, Randy Lerner has been a wise and sensible owner. Sadly, over time he has realised that having your own Premier League club is not all fun and games and actually involves handing over vast sums of your hard-earned cash to young men who are not even vaguely appreciative. Now he is desperate to sell Villa but can’t get rid of them even after dropping the price and promising to throw in a free toaster and weekend break in Skegness.

Roy Keane’s introduction as assistant manager is an interesting move but in reality, Villa are just treading water, avoiding relegation and waiting for an ownership revolution.

Key player: Joe Cole. His experience could make a world of difference to a relatively young team.

Final position: 15th

Burnley

For some teams, getting promoted to the top flight is the start of something special. For others it is merely a one-season, financially rewarding holiday from the Championship. No prizes for guessing which category Burnley fall into.

It’s not nice writing off a team’s survival chances before a ball has been kicked, but the only conceivable scenario I can come up with in which Burnley aren’t relegated in May is if three other teams have points deducted over the course of the season. Even then, they could still conceivably squeeze into the bottom three. (This should guarantee them a Europa League place at the very least).

Key player: Matt Taylor. He’s been around a bit but his experience of relegation battles could be key to any faint hopes of survival.

Final position: 20th

Chelsea

I tipped them to win the league last year. I was wrong. However, not being one to shy away from my own ineptitude, I am tipping them again this season. Last time round, Jose Mourinho was working with a squad he had mostly inherited; this time it will be one he has moulded in his own, slightly bizarre, image.

So far Mourinho’s return to English football has been somewhat subdued, although the mind games did start to make an appearance during the run-in. This season I expect far more fireworks as he settles back into his favoured routine of winding up the entire league before unceremoniously winning it.

Key player: Cesc Fabregas. Mourinho wants to make the ex-Arsenal player his midfield general and his success at filling Frank Lampard’s boots will be season-defining.

Final position: 1st.

Crystal Palace

When I first started working on these predictions, I had Palace down for a comfortable, mid-table finish. But that all changed midweek when the club parted company with Tony Pulis.

It is quite obvious that last season’s great escape went to the chairman’s head and he now believes anybody could have done what Pulis did. He is very wrong. Considering the resources at their disposal I just cannot see another manager being able to keep such a poor team in the top flight. Doomed.

Key player: Jason Puncheon. Puncheon was excellent in the second half of last season but he’ll need to be even better this time round.

Final position: 19th

Everton

Over the past decade or so, Everton have been very much a selling club. In fact, you sometimes wondered if the numbers on the players backs were actually price tags. However, following a rather successful season, the club has signalled its intent to push on by splashing £28 million on Romelu Lukaku from Chelsea. They are looking to make the step up to being serious top four contenders.

Roberto Martinez’s reputation continues to go from strength to strength and he will be desperate to squeeze into the Champions League places. That won’t happen, but it won’t be for a lack of effort and application.

Key player: Ross Barkley. This is the season when he should become a Premiership force.

Final position: 6th

Hull City

Despite having a look on his face that suggests he is permanently on the verge of bursting a blood vessel, Steve Bruce is proving himself to be one of the most sensible and level-headed managers in the top flight. Last season he not only guided Hull to safety, he also took them to the final of the FA Cup for the first time in their history, and with it, Europa League qualification.

Bruce doesn’t panic buy but rather picks up good, young talent that will grow and develop with the team. The extra demands of European competition may take their toll but they won’t be sucked into the relegation battle.

Key player: Tom Huddlestone. He was excellent last season and deserved a call-up for England’s World Cup squad. Although in hindsight he is probably happy he didn’t get one.

Final position: 10th

Leicester City

There is one thing that makes me believe Leicester will survive their first season back in the top flight – continuity. Unlike many teams which win promotion on the back of a managerial change or a fluke run of form, Nigel Pearson has been building his Leicester team for the best part of six years.

They have some solid, experienced players and have wealthy foreign owners who are a unique combination of ambitious and patient. So unique, in fact, that we should probably have them framed. It won’t be an easy season for City, but they will survive.

Key player: Casper Schmeichel. Worked his way back up to the Premier League the hard way and can now go on to emulate his father’s success.

Final position: 16th

Liverpool

Unless you’re Real Madrid and have superstars falling over each other in the dressing room in their scramble for the hairdryer, you are going to feel the effect of losing a player like Luis Suarez. That is a simple fact. However, it doesn’t necessarily have to be an entirely negative effect.

You can rest assured I will still get some/most/ all of them wrong. It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t

Often when a team loses a star, the remaining players rally round, give an extra 10 per cent, and the sum of the parts becomes greater than it was. Brendan Rogers will be hoping that is the case as he realises expectation levels have gone up a notch after last season’s near miss. Unfortunately for him, I think it may take a season for his new signings to fit in.

Key player: Daniel Sturridge. He needs to show he has the necessary bite to chew up opposition defences. Just not literally, like his predecessor.

Final position: 5th

‘Manchester City will fall just short’

Manchester City

It takes a brave man to bet against the reigning champions retaining their title especially when said champions have continued strengthening their squad over the summer. Well, I’m going to be brave.

The quality of the squad may have gone up a notch, but I am still not 100 per cent convinced by Manuel Pelligrini. Yes, he won the title and the League Cup in his first season, but neither were truly convincing. And when you consider the oodles of talent on City’s books, it would have taken a particularly dire manager not to pick up some silverware. Like Roy Hodgson maybe.

With Chelsea and Arsenal suitably reinforced and Manchester United under new management, they won’t just have to fend off Liverpool if they want back-to-back titles. And I suspect they will fall just short.

Key player: Kolo Toure. High maintenance and don’t forget his birthday, but a genius on the pitch.

Final position: 2nd

Manchester United

If Manchester United fans had their way, last season would be deleted from the history books. Not only did ‘noisy neighbours’ City win the title, but United endured one of their most torrid campaigns in living memory. But now that the ‘chosen’ one has been replaced by the ‘more likely to do a good job’, the future is looking brighter.

Despite the talk, I simply cannot see United going from seventh place to champions in just one season, even considering they don’t have European football to distract them. More likely it will be a tight return to the top four for Louis Van Gaal and his team of merry Moyes-less men.

Key player: Wayne Rooney. The added responsibility of the Old Trafford captaincy could bring with it more consistency of performance.

Final position: 4th

Newcastle United

I like the look of Newcastle’s close season business. They’ve signed a few players who could be revelations in English football, including Remy Cabella and Siem de Jong. Last season the club all but admitted it had no ambition other than maintaining its Premiership status. That rightly caused concern among the fans but I would suggest the club’s transfer dealings have gone some way towards showing they actually do want a bit more than survival.

A steady, top-half finish and a good cup run is possible, which will hopefully be enough to keep Alan Pardew’s temper in check.

Key player: Jack Colback. Sunderland’s loss could prove to be very much Newcastle’s gain if Colback goes on to fulfil the promise he has been showing.

Final position: 8th

Queens Park Rangers

When most teams arrive in the top flight they do so with teams woefully unprepared for life in the big time. QPR are quite different. The squad they had at their disposal last season would probably have been good enough to survive in the Premier League. The addition of the supremely talented Steven Caulker and ultra-experienced Rio Ferdinand should make them comfortable on their return to the top table.

I’m happy having Joey Barton back in the Premiership – it’s always entertaining watching this timebomb and guessing when he’ll go off.

Key player: Charlie Austin. The player who has scored ridiculous amounts in the lower leagues finally gets his chance in the top division. He will take it.

Final position: 13th

Southampton

There have been times this summer when Saints boss Ronald Koeman must have been wondering not which 11 players will start his first league game in charge today, but whether there would be 11 left to pick. Suffice to say, it’s not been the smoothest of summers at St Mary’s.

However, while I initially thought the upheaval could spell disaster I am far less worried for Southampton than I was. You actually get the impression that they were quite happy for half their team to disappear because they know something we don’t. Like exactly how talented their youth players are, maybe. Another solid season ahead.

Key player: Dusan Tadic. The Croatian playmaker is a ready-made replacement for Adam Lallana. Whisper it quietly, but he is probably better…

Final position: 11th

Stoke City

I have to admit to doing Mark Hughes a disservice last season when I questioned his managerial ability. He does, after all, seem to know what he is doing, and his transformation of Stoke from a team that made your eyeballs ache into one which plays attractive football was rapid, dramatic and surprisingly successful.

You can’t help but feel Hughes still harbours long-term ambitions of managing at Old Trafford and, if he continues to enhance his reputation at the Brittania, that might not be as daft as it once sounded. He should get a standing ovation from the Stoke fans just for masterminding the signature of Bojan Krkic. Could well turn out to be the signing of the season.

Key player: Bojan Krkic. He may be a vowel or two short of a sensible surname, but this player has immense talent.

Final position: 9th

Sunderland

Gus Poyet is a talented young manager with a bright future. Very much like his predecessor Paolo Di Canio apart from the talent bit. And the bright future. Poyet will ensure his team continues playing football which is pleasing on the eye. But they lack the squad needed to have aspirations any higher than mere survival. Having said that, Poyet knows how much the domestic cups mean to the fans, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he threw considerable resources into trying to get his hands on some silverware.

Key player: Jack Rodwell. The England midfielder will be desperate to get his career back on track and that could be hugely beneficial for Sunderland.

Final position: 14th

Swansea City

Swansea’s fate this season pretty much hinges on how young, inexperienced manager Gary Monk copes with the pressure. He doesn’t come across as someone who’ll take any nonsense from his players but, on the other hand, up till last season he was just one of the lads and some­times that familiarity can make the transition more difficult.

I suspect we could be looking at a situation where a difficult start to the season sees the board panic, show Monk the door and replace him with a firefighter like Neil Warnock or maybe Tony Pulis if he is still looking for work.

Key player: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Things didn’t really work out for him at Spurs, but he was superb during his first spell at Swansea.

Final position: 17th

Tottenham Hotspur

I have a sneaky suspicion this may be the season Mauricio Pochettino is found out. I’m not saying he isn’t a talented young manager, but it’s one thing being in charge of Southampton where expectations are low and quite another at White Hart Lane where breaking into the top-four is now seen as the managerial benchmark.

He has a very talented bunch of footballers at his disposal, but that will only add to the pressure. I wouldn’t be surprised, considering the impatience that emanates from the Spurs boardroom, if Pochettino doesn’t last the season.

Key player: Erik Lamela. The Argentine had a poor first season in London but maybe his compatriot is the right man to get him firing on all cylinders.

Final position: 7th

West Bromwich Albion

It’s always hard to get excited about West Brom as they are a team that seems to be content with merely existing. And the levels of excitement at the Hawthorns were hardly cranked up by the appointment of Alan ‘Who?’ Irvine as manager.

It takes a brave man to bet against the reigning champions retaining their title

They finished just outside the relegation places last season, but I fear the inexperience of their manager may see that flirtation with the drop turned into a full-on relationship this time. Tears at the Hawthorns come May.

Key player: Brown Ideye. The Nigerian striker is going to have his work cut out lifting a generally average team.

Final position: 18th

West Ham United

The owners have demanded pretty football and you only have to look at Sam Allardyce to know that pretty isn’t a word with which he is overly familiar. The man is effectively living on borrowed time at Upton Park, and unless the Hammers have a great start to the season, he will be shown the door. And told to hold it open while Andy Carroll limps out behind him. But I don’t see relegation as a real option.

Key player: Enner Valencia. With Andy Carroll made out of glass, West Ham’s fate could hinge on whether the Ecuadorian striker hits the ground running in English football.

Final position: 12th

sportscolumnist@timesofmalta.com
Twitter: @maltablade