Kids’ parties have become more and more sophisticated, as parents try to deliver the perfect experience to their little ones. But, as Alison Bezzina finds out, planning a fun day for the little ones need not involve the tactical expertise of Sun Tzu.

A couple of weeks ago, Josephine drove her four-year-old son to a friend’s party. As she arrived she heard loud music coming out of the backyard, saw at least 500 helium balloons adorning the perimeter of the house, and no less than 100 kids, all under six, running around and being entertained by what looked like professional animators.

“There were magicians, two people on stilts, a puppet show, a pony, a face-painter, five rabbits and three stages,” explains Josephine. “One of the stages was being used to set up a talent show there and then. The kids could choose from hundreds of costumes and hundreds of songs that they wished to sing. I saw at least three photographers and a photo booth, and when we got home we opened the goody bag that my son was given on his way out and I thought that I was going crazy because it must have cost at least €15 to fill.”

Different parents have different opinions about throwing over-the-top parties for children. Some understand the appeal of treating their children to the best they can afford, others even enjoy it themselves and spare little expense to have their home filled with children and parents for one big fun fest; while others, on the other hand, worry that such lavishness at such a young age sets unrealistic expectations for children.­

Most parents would argue that they would rather save the money for their child’s education, and even when money is not an issue, they still have qualms about setting their child-ren’s expectations so high. At the same time, treating our kids to special days like these is part of the appeal of being a parent.

Here’s a list of suggestions collected from parents with small children, on how to throw successful kid parties without breaking the bank and spoiling your child beyond repair.

Such lavishness at such a young age sets unrealistic expectations for children

• Make a reasonable list, not a tall order – Too many kids on the invitation list could mean that no-one gets enough attention and that some kids would not be comfortable enough with one another because they wouldn’t know one another that well. So keep the invitation list reasonable, make sure that special needs are catered for, and this will help keep your bottom line of expenses in check.

• Control the gifts surplus – Put a strict limit on gift value and specify this on the invitations. Also, before the event, agree with your child to donate some of the gifts to charity. This frees you from the inevitable mountain of gifts, usually toys and clutter that your kid either won’t appreciate or doesn’t need. It also sets a great example for your child and your guests.

• Remember that children are experts at entertaining themselves - You don’t need to rack your brain on how to keep children happy. As any parent will vouchsafe, a play date will keep your child out of your hair for hours on end. Even without adult intervention, children can come up with lots of ways to entertain themselves and one another, so let them do it.

• It’s never about the food – When it comes to kids’ parties, it’s hardly ever about the food, unless your guests are going into their teens and their stomachs have turned into bottomless pits. In addition, with small children you also need to be careful about sugar levels; if you’re not, you’ll have quite a few unhappy parents on your hands.

• A sleepover can be a party too – This keeps your costs down, your guest list very much in control, and yet will probably be more memorable for your child to spend the night with his or her besties.

• Public spaces belong to you as well – If you’re stuck for an outdoor space where to throw your kid’s party, or you’re worried about the inevitable mess the next day, remember that you can use public parks and gardens for this purpose. It’s usually much easier to clean up anyway, and provides for an original venue altogether.

• Most importantly, remember that this party is NOT for you but for your child - Ask your child what they would like without prompting or planting your own ideas into their head. You’d be surprised what they’ll come up with.